Confuse Me (An EXO Fanfiction)

XII

Jongin's POV

Okay, I certainly didn't expect that. If you had told me yesterday that Chanyeol would kiss me today, I would've called you crazy. But he did, and much to my surprise, I didn't push him away. In fact I actually... sort of liked it. Okay, sort of is an understatement. I liked it a lot. Since when do I feel this way about him? Could it be that these feelings have always been there and I've just been ignoring them? Maybe my love for Mei was just my way of pushing aside my feelings for Chanyeol. But that can't be, because I dated Mei for two years, and at the time, I did love her. But maybe now I'm seeing things in a different light. I can't continue to pursue Mei, it's not good for either of us. She's been out of my reach for a long time, and when our relationship ended I should have just given up. Because even though it wasn't our choice to break up, it would've never worked out if we tried to get back together. We'd just end up being separated again. It's for the best that we just remain good friends.

But I'm still incredibly confused by the situation I'm in now. Since when have I loved Chanyeol, and more importantly, since when has he loved me? But who knows, maybe it was just a spur of the moment thing. Maybe we both had pent up romantic desires, and they just came out on each other. Neither of us seemed to have control of our bodies when the kiss happened, it was as if we were being controlled by some outside force. I decide to conduct an experiment. Now that I can actually register what's happening, and my brain isn't fogged over by the suddenness of Chanyeol's out of the blue kiss, I'll do it again. I'll be the one to initiate the kiss this time. If I like the second kiss as much as the first, it'll just confirm the nagging thoughts in my mind telling me I'm in love with Chanyeol.

I break the awkward silence we're sitting in by softly uttering his name. "Chanyeol" I lightly tug on the sleeve of his shirt. "Hmm?" he turns to face me, and when he does, I press my lips to his in yet another tender kiss. I see his cheeks turn bright red as if they're on fire, but he doesn't protest or make a single attempt to pull away. My arms find their way around his neck and his snake around my waist, softly embracing me into his chest. The second kiss lasts much longer than the first, it's almost as if the second one is more passionate than the first. Our lips don't break apart until it feels like we can't breathe and we both need to come back up for air. We stare at each other in breathless silence for a solid two minutes, before either of us muster up the courage to speak. "What just happened? What's going on between us Kai?" Chanyeol asks, his soft brown eyes stare deeply into mine, melting my heart and causing my cheeks to turn a light pink. "I-I don't know... But I think I love you" I mumble quietly. "I think I love you too" he whispers softly in my ear. "In fact I don't think, I know".

"Maybe all this chasing after Mei was just both of us trying to deny our feelings for each other" I suggest, taking both of his hands in mine and intertwining our fingers. "If that's the case then how do you explain you dating her for two years?" he questions, "you seemed pretty into her back then". I lightly punch his shoulder and scrunch up my nose at him. "Okay so maybe at some point in time, I did love her. But the majority of those two years with Mei was just me trying to distract myself from you. "Really? Alright fine, then if that's the case, then why were you so hell bent on getting her back?" Chanyeol challenges. "To make you jealous" I mumble quietly. "To what? I can't hear you when you mumble" he says in a voice that says 'I know what you said, I just want to hear it again'. "I wanted to make you jealous!" I repeat myself, my voice coming out in a nearly inaudible squeak.

"How did you know I felt the same way about you though?" he raises an eyebrow, softly running his fingers through my hair. "What if I didn't, and you had gone to all that trouble for nothing?". "I-I don't know. I guess I would've just- Wait! Are you admitting that I made you jealous?" I stare at him in disbelief. "I'll admit, I was a tad bit jealous that she held your heart in her hands and I didn't. And maybe, just maybe, I told her I loved her just to get your attention" Chanyeol grins, pressing a soft kiss to the tip of my nose. "So we were basically both just trying to get each other's attention without knowing how the other felt, all the while dragging poor Mei along for the ride and putting her through unnecessary emotional turmoil?" I ask. "Well look who's a little detective" he grins and softly pokes both of my cheeks. "Although, now that you say it like that, I feel horrible for pulling Mei into all this". "Me too..." I sigh, hiding my face in his chest. "We basically made her a pawn in our own twisted little chess game for two". He sighs, and his fingers find their way back into my hair. "Kai, we have to tell her...".