21 days

Day 9.2.

My arm hurt a bit and it was really difficult to ride with just one arm. Well, we rode along a few fields. The sun was shining and it was really hot.

'Carla? Could we take a break, please?' I asked.

'We're almost there.' she said and suddenly she started riding really fast. Gallop??!

'Wait!! Where is there?!.... Wahhh.' I said and then started screaming, because my horse started running. Literally a fast gallop. I was so scared for the first moment, but then it felt really good. The wind blew into my face and it felt like it blew my whole bad thoughts away. For a moment I saw my family... a little blurry picture in my head. I breathed deeply and didnt look anywhere.

'Christina watch out!' Carla yelled from somewhere and I was pulled out of my little daydream. Oh a truck came from the other side. Omg, what should I do to stop this horse?!

'Stoooop horse, stooop!' I closed my eyes helplessly but in the next moment Carla started laughing. I didn't check it until I realized that the horse already stopped next to Carla.

'Christina, she is a horse for beginners. She stopps when Ruby stopps and she starts when Ruby starts. And by the way, she's just a horse and can hear you, so you don't need to yell at her.' she laughed.

'Gosh Carla, how should I know this?' I tried to be serious but I couldn't be serious. I started laughing too.

'Christina? about what have you been thinking? I saw that you were in your thoughts...' Carla asked me. Now curious. And obviously a bit worried.

'Oh, literally about nothing. It felt so good to have the wind in my hair. I could say it blew all my thoughts.... just... away.' I said honestly, but I knew that it wasn't the whole truth.

'Christina... there's still something.. I can feel it.'

'Let's go down from the horse please. I still feel better if I'm on my feet.'

We rode along a little sideway, rightly to a huge meadow.

'Who is the owner of this huge meadow??' I asked curious, because there was a fence.

'I really don't know, but it's a great place to be alone. I'm often here if I need to think. Sometimes I come here to be alone with Floriean. Some riders say, it's a magical place, because you're just out of the whole city trouble. Here's nothing as long as you can't see it.' she said.

'Oh wait I'll help you down.' she continued, and jumped down the horse. Then she told me how to come down.

'Wait what?? Slipping backwards??' I doubted, but Carla nodded. So, I did.

We walked a bit, til she asked me again.

'Christina, now tell me what is still bothering you? I know that you're still away with one ear.'

'Carla... listen, sometimes I still have break downs, and moments I think I would faint. When everything started, I stopped eating, I cried, I threw up, I panicked without knowing the reason I panicked, I was afraid of everything and everyone, I had nightmares and so on... I didn't tell you this because yesterday was the first time I was self-confident again. Everything got better. since I apologized and started collecting my memories'

'Omg... Christina... don't say it was my message...' she stuttered. I just couldn't tell her it was her message but it was the truth and I didn't want to lie anymore.

'It was, Carla. But now don't apologize. You was totally right! Please... everything you said to me was right. Another thing I haven't seen at first... But how did you figure out it was your message? I haven't even mentioned it. I was 100% sure you would think it was only because of Nick.'