NEW LEAF (Legolas FF) | ✔️

Chapter 30: Irreversible

LARALEN

He haunts my dreams, his air the color of blood. I can never be rid of him.

I wake up, my eyes heavy with sleep. I feel my limbs wake up moments later as I move my fingers slowly, feeling something warm. I turn my head to the side and find Elrohir beside me, his head on the side of the bed. I feel my stomach twist uncontrollably as I pull my hand away. The swirl in my head does not stop as he stirs beside me. He looks up, his eyes meeting mine. I smile, although I hardly felt like doing so.

"You are okay," he says this with relief and my heart falters for what I had to do. What I needed to do. I nod, pushing myself up. I immediately feel his hands on my back and for a moment my body freezes like his touch was foreign before it relaxes. It was already too comfortable with him. The utmost betrayal. I could almost laugh.

"Lara-" he begins as the door to the room creaks open and Ari steps in, looking like she was ready to give a lecture. She sees me, fully awake, with Elrohirs hands wrapped around me with what must have looked like an embrace. I blush furiously as his hands slip away and all that was left was the tingling sensation as his fingers brushed gently across my tunic.

"You are awake," she states with slight disbelief. She watches me for a moment, notices our awkward stance and steps forward to examine me closer. "The fever is gone?" She asks but before she could reach up to touch my skin, I feel Elrohir's hands shoot up to my forehead. His touch was cool and I felt guilty as Ari noticed the slight twitch I had made upon the contact of his skin.

"It is gone," Elrohir confirmed as his hands, again, slipped away, leaving nothing but the faint sensation. I had often wondered what that was. If being touched felt like that only because I was not accustomed to it anymore or perhaps it was a human reaction to such mystical creatures or perhaps-

"May you leave us for a moment?" Ari does not wait for his answer as she clearly wanted him to leave. Elrohir notices this and with a bow to her, he leaves without glancing back.

"It is not what you think-" I state defensively but my words get caught as her eyes snap back at me with a look I have never seen before.

"Oh, it is exactly what I think!" She snaps in a harsh whisper. She shakes her head disapprovingly and I stare at her, with my own heart threatening to rip out of my chest. I shake my head in protest, a half hearted shake. Something I wish I did not have to do.

"You barely know who he is!" She continues, disappointment evident in her voice. She runs a hand through her dark hair, as if she had just been given a problem she was never meant to solve.

"But I-"

"Do not even try to defend what you feel! That is how it all starts! Lara, do you want to put his life in danger?" She asked me, her tone slightly raised that I was afraid someone who would pass by my door would hear it.

"No," I say, defeated. How was I suppose to know this was going to happen? It was not like we controlled who we fell in love with. I may have only known him for months but it felt like I had known him forever. I am startled as I feel Ari's cold hands on my cheek, wiping away the tears I had not noticed I had shed. There was a certain tight hold on my chest and I could merely understand what it was.

"You are young and it always hurts but it will hurt more if you go down this path," she says to me. There is hidden pain behind every word, behind every movement of her mouth. "You have to trust me. It is much better this way. It is much better for our kind to stay away."

"I do not wish to do it," I say quietly and she nods, understanding as she spoke. "I wish I had done it. Then maybe I would not have such a hold in my chest by losing the one I had loved most."