Have A Little Faith (Harry Styles FanFic)

37-Little Bit Of Truth

ARTIST: You Me At Six        SONG: Little Bit Of Truth

..."...I just lost control...I just wanted you to know...When I'm on my own...I feel invisible...And I just lost control...I just needed you to know...When in front of you...I feel invincible..."...

"Yeah."

"No, never. As sorry as I felt for myself and as much pain as I felt all the time; I never once thought about taking my own life."

"That's what makes you so much stronger than me Faith. I hate that I was once weak enough to think that taking my own life was the answer to my problems."

"You thought about killing yourself?"

"I more than thought about it. If it wouldn't have been for Jake, I would have succeeded in my attempt. Between the accident, losing my scholarship because I couldn't run track anymore, losing my girlfriend, losing all of my so called friends; I went to a very dark place for a while. I was so damn miserable that even Jake stayed away from me for a few weeks. One weekend, dad packed up and went to the lake and left me home alone. Him and I got into a huge fight before he left because he wanted me to go with him and I told him I didn't want to go. He wouldn't listen to me, he just kept trying to get me to go. I said a few things that probably hurt his feeling but I didn't care. I just wanted to be left alone. Dad left and I swallowed my entire bottle of pills and waited for death."

"Oh Landan." Faith whispers with tears in her eyes.

"I don't know what made Jake come over that day but he couldn't have come at a better time. Jake took one look at me sitting on the floor with that empty bottle beside me and he reacted instantly. He called 911 and told them what I did. Then he grabbed ahold of me and shoved his fingers down my throat until I threw up. By the time the ambulance got there, Jake managed to get me to get most of the pills out of my stomach. Jake rode in the ambulance with me and he yelled at me the entire time. He called me a selfish jack ass for taking those pills. He told me how much he loved me and how much my dad loved me. He told me he knew I felt like nothing would ever get better for me but I just needed to have patience and faith and that things would get better."

"He's right you know."

"I know. I have never been more ashamed of myself in my entire life for being so weak."

"What did your dad say when he found out?"

"He doesn't know about it and he never will. Jake told me it would be our little secret and no one but him and I know about that day."

"So why did you tell me then?"

"Because part of my thought process, that I had when I took those pills, affects you."

"Me? You didn't even know me then."

"That doesn't mean it doesn't affect you."

"How does it affect me then?"

"I know you have heard people say things about me. About me being broken...here." I point to my zipper and her eyes show complete confusion but she doesn't say anything so I continue. 

"I'm not broken. There was never anything physically wrong with that part of me."

"If that's true, then why did you let them say those things? Especially Jake, I've heard him say rude things to you on many occasions. Why didn't you ever correct him or tell him the truth?"