your smile eats me alive (Asking Alexandria)

happy?

Adira's p.o.v
"GOALLLLLLLL!!!!! Hahah in your face cam and-"
I turned around to see Cameron face almost to the floor looking at the other side of the field.
Denis.
My hands start to shake,I quickly run over there already crying like I cried when I wasn't allowed to see him but harder.
"DENIS DENIS WAKE UP " Cameron yelled holding denis's frail body,shaking him...I knew something was off about him.
He's lost a lottt of weight ,something is not right about this.I hope it's not what I think.
You don't think he would?he always told me not to do it,he never told me about it???
"Please not again no no no no." He mumbles,but I heard him.
Again?is he ill is he...
"Cameron ,I'm going to call the boys and an ambulance okay,can you carry him out to the park?" He nodded,shaking as he stands up tears stained his cheek like mine.he picks up denis who was pale,and lifeless it seemed,I tried to calm myself but it's not working.
"Hello this is 911 what's your emergency?"
"Uh my boyfriend passed out and I don't know why I'm very worried please hurry we are at the park on (-insert street name) !!"
"Okay ma'am please stay calm and call us if anything happens we will be there as soon as possible" then the operator hung up,me and Cameron sat down with denis in the grass,his head lays in my lap I can't stop crying,I kiss him hoping it brings him back like in the movies and stories,it doesn't happen.
"Guys you need to hurry up,it's denis it's bad again,he's bad-"
I hear mumbling as cam called Ben on the phone.
" yeah I did,I let them meet up ,kill me Ben I don't care,get your head out of your ass our handmade and friend most of all is in life or death again!"
Then he hung up.
"Are t-they on the way?" I ask him trying not to cry.
"Yeah,is he still breathing?" He goes to find a pulse.
"He's barley I think,any pulse"
"Hardly,a faint one... I can't believe this is happening"his voice starts to crack,"again"
"Wha-"
"Are you ms.Bruce?"an ambulance nurse person asks me I nod quickly and cam hands him denis,they put him on the gurney(not sure if you spell it like that????)

-\\\\time skip to hospital /////-
I was shaking,as I held his hand they said he was in a maybe or slight minor coma or something? I squeezed his hand,I talked to him telling him how much I love him.
I looked around to see who was here,cam went to go meet up with the boys and drag them here,and get me some clothes cuz I volunteer to stay overnight.I started to sing,stupid as it sounds it gave me comfort because I remember last time we seen each other he wanted me to sing for him...so maybe just maybe he might wake up.
Nothing.
I sang saviour by black veil brides,and someone somewhere to him softly,I rubbed little circles as I held his hands.
Nothing made me this sad than seeing my love of my life laying here almost in a state of death.not even I could make myself this sad,love hurts it feels like when he's down a part of me has died.
His arms was covered in scars..except they were the kind where they barley started scarring...I could see really old ones I hadn't really noticed before on his arms...you could see his collarbone easily..a little too much,you can tell he hasn't ate in who knows how long..
I lightly held his hand as I trembled with panic,an put my head down on the edge of his bed ..I sobbed I hope this wasn't the end of him! It can't be ..
All of a sudden I felt a squeeze on my hand and someone pat my head slightly,I popped my head back up to see denis awake dazed and confused.
"Adira? What's going on??"
"You uh,passed out denii...I'm not sure what's wrong but I have an idea...the doctor and boys should be here soon."I kissed him on the lips and hugged him tightly once he sat up.I pressed the button to tell them he's up.
Once he sat up he immediately looks at his uncovered arms and tries to hide them.
"Denis,babe,it's okay I have the same thing...it's a sign of healing remember?"
"Yeah.. you weren't supposed to find this out,this wasn't supposed to happen....
I'm such a fucking failure"
He puts his head in his hands and silently cries.I get on the bed with him and hug him,comforting him.
"No denis, you are not any of that,you're a hero,those fans? They probably wouldn't have made it without you and the boys,me?I wouldn't be here right now if you hadn't saved me.
Don't give up denis,if I have to promise you,you have to fucking promise me!" He slowly nodded,we sat there in comfortable silence just cuddling together ,then the doctors and the boys finally came in.
"Hello there,Mr.shaforastov!" I move out of the bed kissing him on the cheek and standing by cam and my brother.
Please stay denis,I can't do this on my own
~ Denis p.o.v ~
"Hello there mr.shaforastov!" He held out his hand to shake and I hesitate to shake it but did anyway.I don't trust these people,they fucking mess with your head and think you're bat shut crazy for being suicidal,depressed,etc.plus they make me eat,last time they had to force feed me.
"How are you young man" doctor "worsnop" it said on his name tag said .
"Well I feel like shit,when do I leave,get me the fuck out of here or something" I say hatred dripping out of my voice.I wanted to tear myself out of my skin,break open the scars,make myself puke out anything I had.
I need to be perfect.
"Well,we have to keep you over night to observe you,give meds,run some test to make sure you uh don't go bac-"
"No need to finish that sentence,can I have my clothes back instead of this shit?" I asked pointing to the hospital gown thing.
Dr.worsnop nodded and Ben handed me some sweatpants and a pull over hoodie that said "AA FAMILY STRONG" on it.
The nurses helped me stand up and I made my way to the bathroom,I wish I didn't look in the mirror.
The acne
Fat
Scars
Pale
Too tall
Douchbag
I quickly started to get dressed and got out of there away from the mirror as fast as possible.
"Denis you need to eat,"
"I'm not hungry"
"Denis,you have nothing in your system which is why you passed out,you HAVE to feed yourself or we Will" he stretched through his teeth,I sighed and sat on the bed.
"Whatever."
"Oh and Denis?"
"Yes Dr.worsnop?"
"If nothing goes right ,you will be sent back"
"Fuck you Danny"
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- HOLY CRAP THANKS FOR LIKE 2.07k reads or so!!!!!!!! And happy New year hopefully it goes well for all.<3