your smile eats me alive (Asking Alexandria)

aftermath of nightmare

Adira p.o.v:
Oh woke up with a horrid hangover,I was sleeping in Ben's room tho....why I have no idea I don't remember a whole lot but I remember the stuff that hurts me the most,the stuff that makes me feel like I'm drowning.
I can't believe he did that,even though he was probably drunk it's no excuse to me,I was too but you didn't see me making out with another dude.I get up and head to my room,why they didn't put me in there is beyond me? Maybe Sam got tired of carrying me.
I quickly grabbed clothes and showered,and did the usual getting ready routine.
I dressed in black skinnies and a sleeping with sirens shirt.the pounding in my head was getting worse ,I already vomited once last night,the knocking or pounding on the door and someone yelling wasn't helping either.
"Oh hey Ben" I say as I walking into the kitchen looking for the pills.
"Theres some on the counter with food and coffee for you I made,so how are you feeling?are you okay?" He rambled as he hugged me tightly,he's being really nice I figured he would be going on and on about how he was right denis was a bad thing for me,but he didn't.
"I'm uh okay I guess,just have a bad hangover...also who keeps knocking on the door it's getting fucking annoying?!" Ben has a weary look plastered on his face,I finally went to go answer it and was stopped when I got to the door.
"Adira don't do it,you don't need to do that it's fine I think it's some annoying fan or something from the party last night it's not that big of a deal."he states trying to guard me away from the door,but I successfully got to the handle and opened it.
Maybe I should've listened to Ben.
It was denis who was teary eyed,had a envelope and flowers ,you could tell he hadn't slept all night and that he was crying...I'm surprised that wasn't me all night instead I was drinking till I couldn't anymore.
"Uh hi Adi,"it stung to hear him call me that,"just could you please hear me out? I really need to talk to you I know you're mad and I just please?" He says looking defeated and nervous I was lost for words a bunch of emotions filled throughout my body ,I didn't know what to say or if I could even talk.
" these are for you, you don't have to answer me now in this moment,but hopefully soon you could? I-I amm " his voice started to crack and tears filled his brown eyes but he continued ," oh god ,um what I'm t-trying to say is I'm a fucking asshole and I'm sorry beyond words could describe...please give me an answer soon?" He hands me the flowers and the envelope he starts to walk away down the steps.
You need to talk to him.
But he deserves to feel it I can't handle this right now
Just go fucking do it you knobhead.
"Denis wait" he turns back around smiling a forceful smile.
"Yes?" I take a deep breath,I forgot Ben was even beside me I could sense his rage.
"I ,I'm willing to talk ,let me know when/where you want to meet to talk, and uh...thank you for this" I say gesturing to the gifts.
He walks closer and unexpectedly hugs me,wow this is uncomfortable.
"Thank you,I'm so sorry." He says ,he then leaves as do I . My eyes start to tear up,I don't know what I feel right now ,and I'm not sure if I'm even up to talk with him honestly.
"So you're going to forgive his dumbass?"
"Not quite,I just- I'm not sure what I'm doing...I'm quite lost."
Maybe I should end this relationship...