your smile eats me alive (Asking Alexandria)

writing .

Denis p.o.v
Why?why couldn't she believe me?! We didn't even talk it out I never even got the chance to kiss her one last time or explain myself?! This is unlike her she's usually so understanding and patient,this is honestly the only mistakes we've had in our relationship!.
   She was my everything , all I needed was her.Why did she have to turn her back on me?I just needed a chance ,did she even read that letter?
    I threw random objects at things,I screamed and started letting all the pain come out.I was unstoppable at this point,I didn't care about the consequences right now I needed to let my anger out ...Atleast this was sort of a good way.
   I punched a few holes in the wall,my knuckles bloody and bruising . I sat there staring blankly heavily breathing. Without realising I was scratching at my wrists really hard,it was almost bleeding until I looked at the tattoo I have matching with Adira.
   It used to look beautiful to me,but now I just see hurt within it.
   I grabbed my notebook and a pen and started writing,I just let everything in my mind go onto the paper,I will eventually cut it up .
 

Bury me
Just leave me to sleep in the dirt
Finish me
I'm floating away
There's a demon staring straight through your eyes
Am I wasting my time? 
Somethings turning inside of me 
You make me feel like I'm fucking drowning I need to cut you out 
You made my world come crashing down around me 
I need to cut you out

Oh God I wish you'd just speak to me
Black is all that I see 
Speak to me
You used to be all that I needed

I've been crucified and hung out to dry
Yet my heart still beats and I feel so alive
This time I'll fight for myself as you try to fuck me over
I bet you never cared
I knew you never cared 
You make me feel like I'm fucking drowning ,I need to cut you out
You made my world come crashing down around me 
I need to cut you out

Speak to me 
Black is all that I see 
Speak to me
You used to be all that I needed 

I need to cut you out
I wish you could save me
There's something lost inside 
I'm scared it might kill me
All my life I've needed you with me
You've always let me down
But still I try
Don't leave me here
I need you around .Don't turn your back on me!
Lift my feet off the ground
I can't cut you out
Your tongue like a knife
Your eyes cut like daggers
I don't feel a thing ’cause I'm so dead inside
Lift my feet off the ground
Don't leave me here
I need you around
   I read over it,I made it lyrics..I always do that it seems maybe that's how I work in my mind I'm not sure??as I read through it though,I realised...maybe this was for the best maybe I did need to cut her out like she did to me,my heart still wants her badly and more than ever but I just... I need to focus on me and the band as well as the fans...there isn't a use anymore.
  Atleast one day I will be able to leave thus place one and for all,I will someone in a sleep forever that I could only dream of.
I have the date set I. My mind all ready...but I feel eager to do it tonight but then then the phone rings.
"Hello?"my voice raspy,cracking a little.
   "Mate get packing we go on tour next week "our manager said.apparently we were going with black veil brides and bless the fall
   Oh shit...
She will be there.