Cofi and fishbols

Chapter X: Present Tense

"Miss, dito na po tayo."

I was totally lost in thoughts that I didn’t realize the taxi was already in front of Rey’s apartment building.

I paid the driver and got out.

Exhaled deeply.

This is it.

I have to face him.

I climbed the stairs with every step heavier than the first.

At last, I was at his door.

I looked for the keys in my bag even thinking twice if I have it with me or not.

The lock accepted the key.

I held my breath as took a step inside.

“Hey, you’re here…”

I found him seated infront of his piano. He gave me a forced smile as he looked up to where I was. I can see the sadness despite the faint glow of the lone lamp in the room. An unshaven, ghastly look replaced the sweetness of his face I knew before.

“Rey…I…” I started. But abruptly stopped as I suddenly felt lost for words.

“I missed you, you know.” as he started tinkling the keys. He avoided my eyes as he continues. “I wasn’t myself anymore. I couldn’t sleep that much. I’m missing you beside me. I miss your smile. I miss waking up and looking right into your face. I miss holding you close. I miss your comforting voice…your touch…your scent. I…I…I just missed you so much…” his voice breaking. He’s trying hard to contain himself from crying but I myself couldn’t anymore.

Tears are flowing freely from my cheeks as I watch him, crying like a child who wasn’t able to do his piano recital. He stood up and walked towards me, his tear stained face reflected by the soft glow of the lamp.

He hugged me tight and cried harder. The familiarity finally sinks in and I hugged him back tightly, not minding the guilt that tides into my conscience. Nothing now mattered. Just me and Rey. I’m here now, I wanted to say, but only sobs escaped from me. We held each other tight as our sobs gradually eased.

I felt him releasing me, slowly letting go. “Stop crying now…" as he held my face into his hand, wiping it with the other. A comforting smile creeps into his face. Yet there is pain in your eyes. Eyes full of unasked questions. Questions he doesn’t want to ask.

I was dying with guilt.

I want to avoid meeting his eyes. I’m afraid my eyes will betray me. I’m afraid he’ll look straight into Vito’s face which was all I had been seeing for the past weeks I haven’t been with him.

And then he kissed me. A kiss full of emotions. I can feel his thirst, his longing, his yearning for me. His love. The tears escaped from me again.

I want to push him away and tell him how I had been unfaithful. I don’t deserve him anymore.

Yet all I can do is feel his lips touching mine. It was so comforting. Driving everything away. Making me forget.