Cofi and fishbols

Chapter XV: Coffee gone cold

I felt the wind blowing steadily, making me shiver a bit.

My hair flowing freely, whipping my face. I tried to tuck it behind my ear.

I studied him from afar.

Perfect.

You could see how tall he is, even seated down. His face, perfectly chiseled; straight nose, full lips, matted hair.

He stares back at the vast waters infront of him. Waiting.

The scene, like a painting. Just there to be admired. To drink in its beauty. Unheedful of any touch.

I wanted to engrave the image in my memory forever.

Three days. Three days have passed since I ended it with Rey. Three days, I locked myself in my misery before finally facing Vito.

The beautiful scene of him suddenly distorted as he moved and looked at his cellphone, must have checked for the time or for any message from me. He looked around, finally spotting me a few feet away from him. He raised his brow and gave me a mocking smirk. I slowly walked towards him.

“At bakit nakatayo ka lang dun? You’re such a stalker!” he chuckled. “And why did we meet up here? Ang corny, kung hindi lang ikaw, nako! hindi ako pupunta dito.”. He gave me those arrogant look and smile of his.

I looked at the long stretch of water horizon in front of us. “I’d love to watch the sunset with you today.” I gave him a smile as I looked at him.

He smiled back, this time one of his sweet smiles he seldom gives away. “Aww…you’re such a sweet tart! Sucker!” with that he inched closer and wrapped his arms around me. He buried his face in my hair, inhaling its scent.

“I ended up things with him.” I told him softly, as I averted my gaze at the ground.

He gave off a contented sigh. I felt him kiss my head. He murmured something inaudible.

I wish I could be content as he is.

“But Vito…”

As if somebody froze the whole scene. He froze. The whole world suddenly stopped as if someone pressed pause. There was no sound, except my heart beating faster.

And then it all came back to normal.

I felt him reluctantly sit up straight, though he didn’t took his arms off of me. Eyes full of questions looked at me.

“I…I want to start anew…” I met his eyes. I can see the mounting panic in it. He knows there’s something wrong. “I want to start anew…Vito…"

"Alone…”

I felt his arms slowly loosened around me. He was the one to avoid my eyes this time, he withdrew his arms. He looked at the other direction as he leaned forward and placed his elbows on top of his thighs, his signature move when he becomes tense. “Why?” his voice clear and firm. He understood what I meant.

“I can’t have either one of you in my life without hurting the other. I just want to leave everyone in peace.” I promised not to cry this time. I fiddled with the strap of my bag hoping to distract myself with it in order for the tears no to come.

“Peace?” he asked with a bitter tone in his voice. He shook his head. “That’s next to impossible princess. I told you before; it’s pointless living my life without you. I might as well be dead.” he finally looked back at me, and I couldn’t avoid meeting his gaze. His eyes full of sorrow, which was illuminating sheer bliss just a few minutes ago. I’m such a bad person causing a lot of sadness to the two people I shared my life and loved the most.

“No, Vito. You still have a long life ahead of you. You’ll forget. I just can’t have you in this time of my life. I’m sorry.” I fought hard to steady my voice, fought hard to fight away the tears forming itself.

“That’s asking me to live the rest of my life forgetting you. Bakit ganto? I thought I’ll have you back, now that he’s out your life. Why princess?” he took away one of my hand, which playing with the bag strap, as he sat straight and fixed me his intense eyes. He gently squeezed my  
hand.

“Sinabi ko na Vito. Stop making me repeat it. Just please try to understand naman. I know this’ll be hard. Believe me, it pains me more. Letting both of you go is dying twice in a lifetime. I just…”

“Alex…”

The sun is setting in.

I can hear the waves crashing the shore,

Indistinct chatter of people,

Vehicles passing by the busy district.

“Please…Just let go Vito. Stop making this hard for both of us… I’m leaving…” I turned to look at the direction of the street. Look away from him before I lose the confidence of leaving him.

“I won’t.” He held on tightly to my hand with both of his. “Stay with me…please…I’ll do everything just don’t go…” He whispered pleadingly. I didn’t expect this.

This pleading.

I never expected any of this happening. It’s not the way they ought to be acting.

Not this.

They both surprised me.

I slowly peel away his hand off of mine, as I tried to stand up.

“Princess, please…”

I just shook my head and I feel his hands slowly let go.

—

I watch as cars passed by.

I’m standing here waiting for a cab.

Alone.

At peace.

Who knows what the future hold?

I’ll cross my paths with them again,

In a different time, different circumstances.

For now I’ll leave them both.

Setting everyone free.

Free from sorrow, free from love, free from guilt.

Free from everything.