Chapter IV. Self searching

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I stared outside the window as I sit by its sill, the city busy down below.

My thoughts are far, absent mindedly strumming my guitar with random notes, contemplating of all the things happening in my life.

I feel so confused, my mind whirled with thoughts.

I looked at the pieces of papers scattered in my crisscrossed legs, songs I have to practice and memorize.

Rey and I’s collaborated composition resting on top of it all. I tried to play the first notes, humming the tune, testing my vocals.

“You brought me a thousand diamonds,

Filed high from spherical vagabonds,

Thrill me, kiss me.

You brought light in the darkest of my life,

Gave hope when there’s only gloom inside.

Save me, forgave me.

Fill up my sky like your one of those uncanny stars,

A woman from Mars, and don’t you cry,

Just hold my hand don’t wonder why,

I know we’ll find our way.

I do believe in your sorrow,

Let’s live like there’s no tomorrow.”

I wanted to cry while I was singing it, the words cutting deep into me.

I take control my emotions and stretched my muscles, it’s still a wonder how my petite frame can manage to take hold of a big guitar that almost just a little smaller than I am.

I piled the paper neatly and stood up. I have to go and shower soon then drop by at the pre-school where Rey teaches so we’d have lunch together but I feel like I just want to lie in my bed all day. Bury myself in the sheets and never wake up again.

Just as I was entertaining the thought and contemplating what to text Rey he beat me to it,

“Hey baby. C u in awyl. Ol my little angels r gone n m jas w8ng 4 u hir. Love u. J”

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