Till The End Of My Days

The Truth

I sit there as the doctor says the most dreaded words.
Incurable. Too late. I'm sorry. There's many options. We can help.
I don't feel anything apart from the feeling that I have been swallowed up by the ground and I am nothing at all anymore. I am a mere speck that the universe is deleting.
"How long do I have left?" That was the question that was most important. Of course this was all new, I should ask about the procedures that come with a sort of thing like this yet I choose to ignore those. If I only have a specific amount of days I will not spend them being prodded with needles and shoved into machinery for scans and treatments that will probably never work.
"A month we believe. At most."
That was enough, I didn't want to know anything more. The doctor felt inclined to give me leaflets about symptoms and treatments and blah blah blah, I declined.
"Thank you for your time." Is all I say as I grab my coat and I'm out the door.

As I sit in the taxi I look at all the passing sights that I have never fully taken in before. This is my last chance I will see the beautiful sunrises or the nights where the stars shine as the only light. These things haven't had much relevance before but now with the thought that they are going to be taken away from me I become much more sentimental.
"Are you going to tell me what happened?" In all honesty I was so far in my own world I forgot that Ezra was sat next to me. I had not spoken a single word since I had left the hospital room and up till now my lover had respected this. Of course he wanted answer but how I was going to give them was quite a difficult task. I didn't want to sugarcoat this all but then I didn't want to give the heartache to other people. They wouldn't feel the numbness I do and would react much worse I know that for sure but that is not what I want.
"Aria please." As I was trying to think of an answer I was just adding to the silence. This was getting worrying for Ezra and that fact was so obvious. I didn't want to answer, I didn't even know what to say but all I did know was that I didn't want to be alone in this. Maybe I was selfish for being like that but I had to tell him. It was easier to do it now.

"It's a brain tumour."