Till The End Of My Days

Numbered Days

There was just silence for the rest of the journey home and in some way I preferred that. I knew there would be questions to come but right here right now I was not feeling a full interrogation. As soon as I get home I'm up the stairs and beginning to move on to basic tasks, there's a pile of clean laundry on my bed which I start to put away. Ezra walks in to my room a few minutes later, his eyes look like they're about to begin leaking yet I force myself to look away.
"I think there's a pile more of my things downstairs, you wouldn't mind getting them would you?"
Ezra begins to shake his head, he wasn't going to cave in on this one.
"Aria we can't just ignore it- we need to talk about it."
"About what Ezra?" I snap, this was the first time I felt any sort of emotion and it wasn't the one I was bargaining for. "That all I have left is a month?" As the words come out of my mouth I feel physically sick. I hadn't notified the man on this piece of information and seeing it hit him, well you could almost see him breaking down.
"One month?" He asked, his voice so weak.
"One month yes Ezra." I pause and look at him, he knows much more about things like this than I do. It hits home much more because in the back of my mind I remember him talking of a distant family member descend because of exactly the same killer I had.
I need to know the truth and I believe that Ezra would be the only one who would give me that.
"What's going to happen to me Ezra, physically?"
He just shakes his head, the thought of me going through this must hurt him a lot. He is the one who has to watch me slowly chip away piece by piece. At the end of it I am free yet he is still here.
"Well there's all sorts of things Aria, of course the headaches will get worse. You yourself will deteriorate it could be from loss of control of your body to not being able to breathe at all. You will lose yourself."
I nod. My mind begins to lose track of itself. Being given a year to live is no time at all, completely limiting and heartbreaking for everyone around you but a month? What is there you can achieve in a month? By the time comes round where you finally pluck the courage up to tell people you'll already be buying a coffin.
"I'd like you to leave now. If you don't mind."
Ezra was confused, of course he was. Usually everything that came out of my mouth confused him so I was not surprised at the emotion now.
"I'd like some time to be alone that is all."
"Aria, I am going to look after you."
I just smile and turn away from him taking a deep breath. "I know."