Secrets & Choices (Niall Horan Fanfic)

Chapter 4

I find him in a store. He wasn't facing me, but I didn't care. I make sure none of his friends can see me. Sometimes I really hate this keep this keep us a secret thing. I make my way towards him. I grab his arm and drag him to the back of the store. "Whoa! What the hell?!" he almost yells. When I let go of him he turns around furiously. His face is red. When he sees that its me, everything about him softens. I watch his chest move up and down. He really was riled up. He sighs. "Lucy, you know you can't do that. I didn't know who was dragging me across the store!" "Sorry. But I needed to talk to you" "Okay, lets talk then" He crosses his arms, still trying to get his breathing under control. "Okay" I start, "What's going on between us??" I ask. I can see the muscles in his jaw tighten at my words. "I mean, you won't answer my texts. You won't see me anymore. I'm lucky I saw you here or else it would be weeks until I see you next. What happened?" I ask desperately. He doesn't answer. "What did I do? I honestly don't know. One minute we're fine and the next, we're not?" I squeeze my eyes shut. That's one of the things I automatically do when I'm frustrated. "How did I mess up now?" With my eyes still close, I lean against a wall.

I feel his body press against mine. My eyes opens as he holds my face in his hands. His eyes are wide as he searches mine. "Lucy...." He pauses and lets go of my face and holds my hands instead. "Lucy, do you love me? Do you still love me like you did when we first got together??" He can barely hide the pain in his voice. I feel a tear go down my cheek. His calloused thumb wipes it away. "How can you ask me that. Of course I do!!" He gives a sigh of relief. "Why would you ask that? Are you questioning my love for you?" " No. No of course not Lucy. Its just that....that..." He runs his hands through his blond hair while he thinks of what to say. "It's just that a couple days ago I saw you hugging this guy and it got me thinking---" "Wait what??" I pause and think. "Wait do you mean Dustin? At that grocery store?!" "Yeah Dustin" I can't help but cringe at the way he says Dustin. I've never thought of hearing my oldest friend's name said that way..."Well I saw you two talking and flirting and it got me thinking...'maybe Lucy's gonna find someone else' ya know...'someone she can be seen with, go out with, someone that doesn't keep her a secret" he stressed the word 'secret'. I swear he looked as much in pain as I felt. "Listen to me" I order him. "Do you think I mind that? Do you really think I want to find someone else because of that?" My voice chokes up. I'm on the verge of tears. "It's just that when I saw you two together it made me realize that you need someone who can do the things for you I can't" he says quietly. "That's why I've kept my distance from you....I wanted to give you your space..." "Is that why?" My voice cracked. "To give me space from you?!?" I squeeze my eyes shut. "o you not realize that's the one thing that I didn't want! Didn't need!!" I open them. "I thought you hated me." I say in a whisper. "I truly thought I messed up somehow and made you hate me" He comes towards me and grabs my arms and looks me in the eyes. "Lucy, do you not get that it's impossible for me to hate you. Even if I tried! Nothing in this world could ever make me think of hating you!!" He turns away from me. But its too late. I saw it. He had shed a tear. "I love you too damn much!! Don't you understand?!" He comes back to me and kisses me. His kiss is hard...as if hes trying to prove something to me...to himself. I wrap my arms around his neck with my chin on his shoulder. "I love you so much it hurts..." I whisper into his ear. He squeezes me tighter.

He pulls away first "So we're good now?" I ask. "The best we'll ever be" he answers. I smile. I can't believe the one thing that's been bothering me for days is now resolved. His face sort of breaks. "Lucy, we cant be together right now. I'm-- I'm with my friends so you know what that means..." He trails off. "Oh...of course" I say with a sheepish laugh "I understand." "I'm so sorry. But later tonight maybe we could do something??" "Um...yeah. I'll come over later tonight." He has fully released me now. We just stand together, unsure on what to do next. I look out behind him and my eyes go wide. "Hey...we're about to...um...go now Niall" Harry announces. He looks between us. "Am I interrupting something?" "Hey I have to go now. Thanks for the, um, help" I wave goodbye and then I practically run out of the store.