Letter 9
Date: 31st December 2015
Dear Luke,
I miss you. Its New Years Eve and I want to be with you. I remember us on this day last year, we saw the fireworks and kissed at midnight. I want to do that again.
Today Ashton picked me up from home at 7 pm, and took me to Elder Park. I didn't exactly agree to this, but he insisted. And so I changed out of my home clothes and into a crop top and skinny jeans. I put on one of your flannels, even though Mikey got me one for Christmas. I applied some makeup, the usual eyeliner, mascara and lip gloss, and off we went.
'I thought Mikey got you your own flannel?' Ashton asked as he drove.
'Yeah, but it just felt right. I guess it's my way of being with him tonight.' I told him.
'Oh' was all he said.
I changed the subject.
'So what are we doing tonight?' I asked him.
'Ebonie. Its New Years Eve. Fireworks.'
'Ashton, I can't, not without him'
'Well I am not having you sitting there and moping all night long, you need to have some fun'
'Fine'
The rest of the car ride was mostly silent. When we got there, we found a food stall and a place to sit. I always notice the way Ashton looks at me, like I'm delicate. But I've always pushed that to the side, because I'm in love with you Luke. I will never not love you. Even sitting there with him tonight, as friends, felt wrong.
'How long til the fireworks again?' I ask him.
'There's the 9 o'clock one in about 2 hours, or we could stay still the midnight ones, which are in 5 hours' Ashton answered.
While I didn't want to stay there for five hours with Ash, I really did want to see the midnight fireworks.
5 hours later
'10'
'9'
'8'
'7'
'6'
'5'
'4'
'3'
'2'
'1'
'HAPPY NEW YEAR!'
Everyone cheered, me along with them. And so I guess I'm not really writing this on New Years Eve, but it still feels like it. The fireworks started appearing, in different colours and different types. I took some photos of the pretty fireworks, and the thought of us last year doing the same thing fills my mind. Doing that, fireworks, with Ashton, felt like I was betraying you. I glanced at him, and he stared back at me with this look in his eye, the one you always had when you wanted to kiss me.
'We should go before all the traffic' I told Ashton, breaking his stare.
'I guess so' he agreed reluctantly.
We both got in the car and I was silent for the rest of the trip. It was a twenty minute drive and I just sat there, looking out the window.
I saw our house and I got out of the car immediately. I cried a lot.
Love you always, Ebonie x
