ALL I NEED

Chapters 33.

I think deep down I always knew that this would happen. In his mind I could never compare to his first love, so why did I even try? Why did I put myself through all that misery when I already knew the outcome? The questions running threw my clouded mind were endless.

I needed someone, anyone but who? Gabby was spending time with Luke and his family hours away, and my only other real friend was Mali, and I certainly couldn't go to her right now. I rack my brain trying to find somewhere to go so I don't have to be alone.

Before I even knew where I was going I somehow ended up at Michael's house. Which is weird because he's the last person anyone would go to for anything serious. He's the fun, happy friend, so I really don't know how this is going to play out.

"Kamryn?" He looks shocked to say the least.

"Hi...listen I know its Christmas and everything and you're probably super busy with your family but I kind of just need someone right now." I ramble nervously.

I hung out with Mikey all the time, but we never really have one on one conversations. Sure we've talked but we weren't that close. If I need any advice or just a friend I usually go to Gabby or Mali, or even Ashton. Oddly enough, I haven't even been inside his apartment yet.

"Hey, first off, calm down and come inside. I'm not with family, it's just me." He says seriously, the shock turned to worry on his face.

He steps aside, letting me in and leading me to the living room. It was a typical bachelor pad. Not messy but not particularly clean either.

"My family lives pretty far away, I don't get to see them often." He tells me like he can read my mind. It was sad that he was spending Christmas alone, if I would have known then I would have told Calum to invite him over as well.

"That must suck." I say as he motions for me to sit down.

"Yeah, but it makes me appreciate the time I do get to spend with them...so what's wrong?" He asks, getting straight to the point.

"Kristie showed up." I mumble, doing everything I can to hold back the tears that would inevitably fall.

"Holy shit." His eyes go wide.

"Yeah, and god she was a awful." I laugh flatly.

"I told you. What did she say?" He asks, throwing his arms over my shoulder.

"Aside from pretty much calling me ugly and fat, she wants Calum back." I start to cry.

"She's such an evil fucking bitch." He shakes his head.

"The saddest part is Calum didn't even stop her, he let her insult me over and over again." I sob into his arm.

"I'm not going to make excuses for him, he's my friend but he can be a complete dick sometimes."

"I just thought he loved me." I frown.

That's the hardest thing to grasp, I think. Giving your all to someone and watching them pick someone else. I gave Calum everything I had. Every secret, every fear, every insecurity I had, and he still chose her.

"He does love you. Trust me. Remember how I told you that one day at the coffee shop that you changed him? I wasn't lying. He loves you so much." He stares at me intently.

"Then why does it seem like he loves her more?" My voice cracks.

"Because some people don't know how to let go of their past. But he loves you, it's clear as day to see." He rubs my back comfortingly.

"Maybe, but I can't be in a relationship where his ex will always come before me....it just hurts too much." I wince as I say the words that felt like poison coming out of my mouth.

"I understand..." He sighs.

"I want you do something for me." I go take my necklace and ring off.

"Whats that?" He looks at me confused.

"Give these back to him..." I shakily place the jewelry in his hands.

"You know I will." He forces a smile.

"Tell Gabby and Mali thank you for everything they've done for me..." He goes to interrupt me but I put up a hand to stop him.

"And they're the best friends I could ever ask for. Make sure Roland knows that I'm going to miss him." I start to cry, my voice choking up.

"And please tell the boys that that I'm going to miss you guys too. Don't ever give up on your music, ok? You guys are going to be the biggest band in the world someday, I know it. I can't wait to watch you guy perform in arenas." I laugh as the salty water from my eyes fall fast.

"And lastly, tell Calum that I love him. I love him more than anything else in this god damn world." I bit my lip as I fail to hold back the tears.

"Where are you going? Why am I telling everyone this?" Michael looks at me with an expression that was unreadable.

"I'm going home."