Troglodytic (Yaoi BoyXBoy)

Part 20: Confession「Takahiro」

Part 20: Confession

I finished lifting the boxes for my shift. Leaving was the best part of the day. I can finally go home. Sadly I didn't want to face Yuki. Lately he's been acting weird, and I assumed he liked me. I guess I was wrong.

Ai walked with me until I got back to the apartment. He seemed worried about me. I told him I was just getting sick, and he bought that lie.

I entered the apartment, and took off my shoes. I didn't want to call out today. I knew Yuki wouldn't care anyway.

I turned on the television. His shoes were on the rack. He must be in my room. I didn't care much. He's been the one hogging up my bed as I slept on the couch.

I laid on the couch, and watched the romance scene in front of me played out. What's wrong with me? Why did I not comfort him the way I normally would? Why did I say all those hurtful things that I knew would make him cry?

I didn't want him to like me. I knew he did by the way he acts. Deep down, it wouldn't work out anyways. I didn't have a sexual attraction to men no matter how beautiful they can be. I didn't want to disappoint him.

Was I lying to myself now? I've always caught myself admiring how pretty Yuki was. I always thought of how he acts during sex. My mind is filthy. Maybe I am a player, and now I'm being more versatile. I'm the worst.

I couldn't look him in the eye. I was ashamed of myself for thinking deeply of another guy. It felt wrong to me, and out of character. Still I fantasize about him, and I knew it couldn't continue. I'm fucked up.

Yuki walked downstairs to fetch himself a cup of water. I pretended I was sleeping with the tv on. I heard his footsteps approaching me. He turns off the tv as I had expected. I could feel his stare on me, but I used every cell in my body to not open my eyes.

I heard him walking away shortly, and I opened my eyes.

"You're awake." He scares me as he popped up in front of me.

"Uh!" I jumped.

"Why would you leave the television on?" He questions.

"I just...I don't know." I fixed my hair, and sat up.

"Don't worry, I won't bother you about those things we talked about before. I like you as a friend, and that's it." He smiles slightly.

"Yeah me too." I replied.

"Good. Then we can continue to be roommates." He takes out his hand.

I shook it awkwardly. "Yeah."

"Would you like something to eat? I can cook, but you never asked me to do that."

He seems so calm about everything. Maybe I'm the one that is having emotional frustrations. "Sure anything man." I laid back down.

"I'll make some chicken with rice."

"Suit yourself." The awkwardness we gave each other was pretty obvious. Someone needs to speak up, and I hoped it was going to be him.

I could hear the kitchen making noises. Sizzling, and the smoke filters sounded. "Hey Takahiro!" He calls out.

"Yeah?"