Troglodytic (Yaoi BoyXBoy)

Part 19: Feelings「Yuki」

Part 19: Feelings

Maybe it was jealousy that one evening when I was heading back to the apartment. I saw a guy with black hair, and a black coat leave the apartment. Takahiro has a lot of friends, and I have none. I felt angry inside. Why can't I be loved like he was?

Maybe I have acted out of hand a couple times, but I couldn't help it. Something always gets me acting up. I didn't want Takahiro to leave me. So far he is the only true friend with me right now. He looks after me, and I spend the most time with him. I'm growing attached. Seeing others leaving the apartment always made me feel upset.

I'm angry at his outburst on Chisa. Why was he so mean to her? There was no need. She's been nothing, but nice to me. I still question if she's really my friend or not. My trust factor isn't the best.

======

Lunch time was approaching. I had texted Chisa that I won't be having lunch with her. My mind told me to go find Takahiro, and talk things out with him.

I walked around the hallway looking for him. Of course there were stares, and whispers. I hated the sight of people looking down at me.

"Aren't you the one having an affair with that loser professor?" A guy with medium brown hair pointed at me, and laughed.

"That was in the past."

"Being gay is a sin, and disgusting." He laughs.

"Cut it out." Takahiro got between us. The guy was clearly afraid of Takahiro, and backed away.

"S-sorry." He runs off.

Takahiro saved me again....even after our argument. "Thank you..." I held onto the back of his shirt. He quickly moves away.

"Don't do that or people will think shit."

"I'm sorry." My heart aches.

"Let's talk in private at my house. I'm going to ditch the rest of the day."

"Okay." I had no obligations. I really wanted to leave as well.

======

We walked side by side. I could smell Takahiro's scent. I've never wanted to acknowledge how manly he smelled. I liked it. I would never tell him or he will assume I like him.

"Sorry about talking down on your friend." He says as he smokes his cigarette.

"It's okay, but why do you say it like that?"

"I don't know. Who cares."

Our hands brushed on each other's. My chest ached a bit. He didn't seem to notice, and continued walking.

We reached his apartment, and we went in. He takes off his shoes, and goes to lay on the couch.

I went to sit on the floor next to the couch. He looks at me. "Got anything to say?"

"No I don't." I didn't know what to say. I wanted his usual friendly self, but he seemed different today.

"Okay."

"Do you hate me that much? Do you hate me touching you in any way that much? Am I such an embarrassment to be around?" I asked.

"No, but I don't want people to think me, and you have some type of relationship besides a friendship."

"Am I that embarrassing to be paired up with?" The tight feeling in my chest overwhelmed me.

"It's nothing like that. I'm not gay okay?" He turned his back to me.