golden happiness

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blue.
the color of the tears that fell from my eyes and onto the bathroom floor after you left
the color of the night sky the night i stayed up until 4 am thinking of suicide
the color of your eyes that are permanently etched into my mind
red.
the color of my cheeks the first time we kissed at that park, and every other time after that
the color of the blood that fell from my wrists when you said you no longer loved me
the color of the your shirt you were wearing when you left our apartment for the last time
black.
the color of my hair when we first met in the old coffee shop
the color of my dress that i wore to a funeral on sunday and I wished I was the one dead instead
the color of my heart the day you decided I wasn't enough for you
gold.
the color of the keys to my new apartment, one without our memories
the color of the blood running through my veins now that I am finally happy
the color of the sun that I let shine through my window for the first time since you left

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