transparent people

so fucking strong

She tells me about how she's trying to get fit because they're too strong, too stubborn.
She's too weak, too small, too fragile.
She swears she can't stay still for more than a minute, her legs knowing she should run but her head disagreeing.
She's complicated and confusing, but it's because she can't stop the sound of his heartbeat she hears at night.
She doesn't know that the only thing her life depends on his herself.
Not him, not her parents, not other girls.
She's the only one and I tell her this all the time.
"It takes more than myself. It takes more than I am." that's what she would always say.
her family is dead to her,
her fathers abusive and her mothers gone.
she's stuck in a place she doesn't belong to.
3:17 am,
We were smoking and dancing and crying and yelling.
We were free but oh god, we were so lost.
We both knew it was the end, even if we didn't say it aloud.
"I'm crying so hard, I'm such a mess, I'm sorry your shirt is so dirty now."
I started laughing
"I know the truth now, even though my bones are pretty weak, I am so fucking strong. Too bad that it's too late. I like so many things. I like the color of your lips and also the color of the sky. I am so in love with this world, why do I hate myself so much? Friend, why do I want to die?"