transparent people

dying is your latest passion

bright, swirling colors pass by your eyes as you turn to your left,
and you take another sip of the bottle in your hand.
the syrupy liquid leaves a trail of bright red residue on your tongue, all the way down to your throat.
you laugh to yourself and slowly sit down on the ground.
you secretly wish your life wasn't like this, but why should you even care at all?
your vision blurs for a minute and you close your eyes.
don't cry, don't cry, don't cry.
your finger traces a face into the ground beside you and you pull it back up to see its covered in mud.
you look around and see people moving all around you,
pushing past each other, pushing past you.
you run. in no particular direction and with no particular destination.
I'm losing my mind, losing control.
when you finally stop running, you find out that you've arrived at an old abandoned store.
you lay down across on the parking lot, making friends with cement.
you lost control when you were just a child,
the world taught you angst, when you deserved joy.
you're breaking down as you struggle to breathe
because you believe in a god
that won't believe in you.
you start to struggle to hold yourself back,
but you end up picking up the bottle next to you,
and finishing it off.
your head shakes back and forth as the liquid passes down your throat.
open your eyes.
breathe.
life's too short to even care at all.