All We Are

Two

*****

"I can't have it any other way. Well I swear she's destined for the screen, closest thing to Michelle Pfeiffer that you've ever seen. Oh, lady, running down to the riptide, taken away to the dark side, I want to be your left hand man." -"Riptide" by Vance Joy

*****

Rose

Sunday, the day before school started, I called to meet up with Sarah again. We agreed to meet at the cafe by our houses, Pete's Cafe.

I managed to get there before her, even though I wasn't a very punctual person, but somehow Sarah still managed to be worse than me.

I looked up when the bell jingled. Sarah was coming towards me. Smiling. She threw her bag into the booth before sliding in herself.

"Hey!" She greeted me.

"Hey." I said.

"So are you ready for tomorrow?" She asked with concern lacing the corners of her mouth.

"I think so." I replied quietly.

The truth was, that I wasn't. Everything had changed. My own parents treated me as if I wasn't there. Who was to say everyone else would be normal? I mean even Sarah was hesitant to fully be herself around me, even now, and my worst fear was that everyone would find out that I had anxiety. I trusted Sarah to not say anything, because to earn her trust back, I had to trust her too.

When I left Gresham, the anxiety was moderate, according to the deductions my psychiatrist out of town had made, but by the time I got help he said that it was too late. Moderate had become severe.

My own parents didn't even know the degree of anxiety that I had. Only my aunt out of town knew, since I didn't want my parents to know. I knew that if they ever found out, they would just treat me like a ticking time bomb that could explode at any moment.

Now, I was working on getting my anxiety and my life back to a normal, but it just wasn't happening any time soon, and I didn't know if coming back home would help or not. I was scared to find out if it was going to help or if it would make things worse.

"I can tell you're worried." Sarah said gently. "Just don't worry. I'll be there, and besides he's gone. He can't bother you anymore."

"I know, but just the memory of him, around the school, it's haunting." I shuddered. "I am so grateful that you'll be there, but what about my condition?" I asked, hoping that her opinion would maybe show a more positive outlook on things.

"Well, I can't promise anything." She said. "I did a little research on your condition, and if the memories come back then you might not be able to handle it."

"It's just," I had another confession. "It's not just him, I'm worried about."

"Who else?" Sarah asked. She was sipping on a smoothie.

"You don't remember?" I asked her with an embarrassed smile.

She looked confused.

"James." I whispered.

"But you two-you were-God, I don't even know what you two were." Sarah sighed.

"I don't know either." I shrugged.

"But you were crazy about him though." She said with a smile. "So what are you going to do about him? I mean I've told you he's back to his old player ways, even worse than before."

"I don't know." I confessed. "I mean I'm not planning on going up to him and trying to 'start over' or something dense like that, but what if just seeing him sets something off too?"