All We Are

Twenty Seven

*****

I lost my head out in the cold, pins and needles always waiting. You lost a nerve and all control, I can feel it, I can feel, and it feels like waiting. We push and pull, revolving doors, we end up where we were before, right back in the scene. Like an open door, to an empty room, still a part of me needing part of you. In another life we could work this out, but we never speak. So do we really wanna live this way, 'cause all I really want is you to stay. Maybe we could work it out, comatose."- Comatose, by Mikky Ekko

*****

Blake

It was the day of the big Midsummer Night's Dream Prom.

All of the guys were at Nate's house. We weren't getting ready together, because that would just be too weird and girly for us. We were just hanging out.

We were watching a random baseball game, and some of us were playing cards. Carter was leading a game of poker. I was playing to, but my mind was somewhere else.

I was thinking about Rose. I had spent the past week watching her be miserable, and I was thankful that she finally cheered up by Wednesday. I'm pretty sure it was because of Reagan, Sarah, and AnnaCate It hurt me, seeing her hurt, but I also saw that it hurt James more.

I watched James worry about her, miss her, and guilt himself over her. I had heard what he had done, not from him, but from Nate. I hadn't known about his past, and what he had done then, and that part surprised me when I found out. But what surprised me more was the fact that I believed the part where he said he truly loved Rose.

I don't know why it surprised me, but I guess part of me knew it, and I just didn't want to believe it. I loved Rose. I wanted the best for her, and these past few weeks I had been thinking a lot. I could feel myself changing, my emotions. Things were going to be different soon.

Thinking about Rose and James's situation, I couldn't believe it when I noticed that she still loved him back. After everything he had done, I didn't hold it against her, I wasn't angry, and I found that I wasn't angry at James either.

I stared blankly at the cards in my hand. A king, a queen, and a Jack... All I ever wanted was for Rose to be happy.

She had given me so much happiness, she had been the best thing that ever happened to me, and she had made me forgive myself.

I'd spent the past years grieving over my dead father, causing trouble when it wasn't necessary, believing that I had no future, slacking off in school, and disappointing my grandparents, the only family that I had left.

I remember meeting Rose, and looking at the tiny little brunette, whose dog was sitting in the middle of my alley. I remember how she wouldn't look at me, and when she did, her eyes widened. Then I remember her sass. I remember her lying about her name. She wasn't going to take any shit, and I remember hating how she had no idea who I was. I wanted her to know me, I wanted her to always remember me.

When she left I smiled for the rest of the evening. My grandparents asked me what the matter was, but I just said nothing. I knew that night when I went to bed, that I had just met the girl I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, I had met my Michelle Pfeiffer.

I chased her until she gave in. I never gave up hope, even when I found out that James was my competition, I never gave up on her, even when I knew she loved him.

I wasn't ready to let her go then, and I refused to, for the longest time, but I had already won hadn't I. I had risked everything for love. I had gotten my time with Rose, and it was magic.