Moon Bound

(5) New Wolf|Scarlet's POV|

What's the worst moment in a person's life? Is it when someone you love is gone forever? Is it when you try to learn how to live without them? Is it when you discover that you have mastered that skill? Is it when it becomes easier to just shut your mind and not think about it?

Or is it that moment when everything you ever believed, when every single part of you—your past, your present, your future, everything you were, are and will be—shatters?

Finding my soul mate was that moment for me. A moment of utter and complete destruction.

The laughter dying on my lips, I was left watching him, the expression on his face a constant flow of changing emotions: shock, wonder, regret, guilt, understanding and then finally determination.

It was bizarre to see the naked emotions of a man who was never supposed to have such, but like some kind of relentless battle being painted scene by scene, I witnessed it all.

The oddest thing of all was that I was the reason behind these emotions.

"I hope you realize this"—I motioned between us, deciding to get this over with before it got out of control and he started demanding things of me. Again.—"is never going to work out, Alpha. I don't want it to work out," I told him with that crushed heart of mine on my mouth, wondering if he could glimpse it in my eyes that watched him unguarded for the first time ever.

"Scarlet, I..."

The past haunting my nightmares, the present like a pile of stones that were constantly thrown at me, the future that was at best unforeseeable, unwanted, unneeded, hopeless, it was all gone now. A single moment of time, a moment that didn't last more than mere seconds had shattered it all.

"You can't even make up an excuse for yourself, can you?" I asked when I wanted to scream, cry out to her.

Why?

It was all her fault. All her who made her final strike against me, ripping me off the last piece of happiness I could ever hope to find as one of her children.

And now I knew, without even a grain of doubt, that she hated me. And I hated her even more in return. Amongst all paths that she chose for her children to follow, mine was a cursed one in comparison.

It narrowed down to a single thread, only one that shone in my life of darkness and connected me to a future that was as bleak and hopeless as my present.

"You know, I'm going to spare you the effort, Alpha," I told him looking him right in the eye.

The way no wolf, not even his mate was supposed to without his permission. He was an alpha to the pack but he was nothing to me and I hoped he realized it soon.

"You want to know why you don't want a mate like me?"

"Why, Scarlet?" A whisper. Broken like I'd always wanted to hear it from him.

"I don't know if any of my pack told you about this, but I'm not pure, Alpha. I'm what our people call a half-blood."

Taking a step toward me, reaching with his hand in the same way he had in my dream countless of times, "What are you talking about, Scarlet?" he growled.

I guess the mention of any kind of purity bothered him more than he let out. He wasn't pure either—in more ways than one.

"Did you ever wonder why silver didn't work on me? Did you never question the fact that I couldn't shift like a normal werewolf? It's because I'm not one. Not really. It's only half of what I am and the whole is something that should have never been born. Does that make it clear why you don't want someone like me for a mate?"