Moon Bound

(10) No Love Lost|Scarlet's POV|

Thank you for the awesome song suggestion Bloody-Rabbit

Shadows were settling over my heart. Each minute was spent in silence. That silence, it made me see the future in front of me – a future in the shape and form of a man. Even knowing it was the Moon making a fool out of me I couldn't look away.

Tears rose to my eyes. I couldn't move. I was rooted to my spot. I kept fighting against every breath I had to take.

Do not go to him... Do not seek out a man inside the monster... Do not take a step closer... Do not let your head fall against his chest...

I could bury myself in him, drown in his scent, in all that he was to me. The compulsion was so strong it hurt to struggle against the instinct to go to him.

Watching him seated in his spot at the table, ready for his feast even if his men were missing from today's lunch meal, the place next to him empty and waiting for me to sit there, all the things I could do but shouldn't kept returning to my mind.

"Come," he said.

I couldn't do that. "I have to help the-"

"No. Come and sit here, my luna," he interrupted my excuse. "Remember your place and come dine here with me."

This isn't my place. This is a mistake.

Seeing me hesitate, he stood from his seat and pulled out the chair next to his. That had been always meant for me, it was just two years later than either one of us had to realize that.

He tapped on the back a few times. His eyes stayed glued to mine, daring me to object.

I should have hidden inside my room. I should have locked myself and stayed there instead of venturing into the house when I knew he was going to come down for his meal.

"Come." He glared at me. He wasn't going to ask again.

My feet guided me to where he stood still gripping the edge of the chair and waiting for me to take a seat. Averting my eyes from him to the floor that suddenly seemed to be fascinating, I hated myself that I let him place his palm on the small of my back when he helped me take a seat.

The physical contact between us during the last twenty-four hours was more than the total amount of it for the last two years and it made me uncomfortable.

He sat next to me, inching his chair closer to mine. What is about this man and proximity?

I glanced up at him then down at my plate and grabbed the fork and knife on both sides of it. I had the sudden urge to stick the latter into his throat, or better yet – the fork could go into his eye while the knife I could jab into his throat.

"Here. Let me cut this for you," he said and took the knife from my shaking hand. He used his own fork to keep the steak in place while he cut the meat. Maybe he didn't value his eyes that much.

Once done, he looked up from my plate, held out a bite for me and gave me a smile that never reached his eyes. They didn't plead with me to eat the food he offered. They demanded.

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I took the food into my mouth without a word then proceeded to shove some of the salad on the side using my own fork before he could feed me again or I could use it in a much more satisfying way. The food tasted like paper on my tongue with his stare on me and the disgusting thought I wanted to kill my own mate.

I just couldn't be that kind of person.

A few minutes later, half of the plate was empty and I just hoped the sooner I was finished the sooner he was going to let me off the hook and grant me the lack of his company.

As soon as he allowed, I sure as hell intended to do what I should have done from the start. Go to my room and lock myself in. At least pretend he wasn't just a few doors down the hall from me.

A girl should use all means at her disposal to retain her sanity and putting distance between us seemed a very sane option right now.

"I'm glad that you have such a healthy appetite but, Scarlet," – he placed his hand on the one holding my fork – "why are you stuffing yourself up like you can't wait to leave?"

Because I can't wait to leave, you moron, I thought but held my tongue back. No one called the alpha moron.

"Is something wrong, babe?" he asked.

I wanted to scream at him, 'Everything is wrong... babe,' then stick that fork into his eye, but I knew better. Fighting him was pointless so ignoring and pretending he didn't exist was it – the sane thing to do, that is.

I slid my palm over his and pushed the hand holding mine away before I took another bite to keep my mouth occupied and respectfully myself safe from his wrath.

A few seconds after the breach of contact the sparks were still flying across my skin. My heartbeat slowly returned to its normal pace and I resumed shoving more food into my mouth.

His eyes stayed glued on me, burning holes in my face.

"Scarlet?" he tried again.

I let the fork drop and looked up at him. His spring eyes drew me in. His warmth so close to me saturated everything around him like sunshine and I had to remind myself once again that I couldn't be swayed by this drool-worthy specimen of a male because, no matter how good he looked to my eyes, that didn't change the fact he was a monster on the inside.

"What?" I snapped. The newly-formed bond between us whimpered in protest.

He flinched and pain encompassed my chest as if I was the one who took the hit, but then pain was something that no longer scared me. I learned to live with it and he had taught me how.

He sighed, running a hand through his messy dark strands."Just... talk to me, Scarlet. Just tell me what I need to do to make it up to you, to make you see me as more than just a monster?"

His eyes bore into me – pleading and full of sincerity I didn't believe. How was I going to trust anything he told me? I didn't trust people like him.

"Please, just—"

"Just shut up... Alpha," I added in a hurry to cover my slip then closed my eyes not to look at him. With the bond tying us to each other, this was going to hurt both of us.

I was fine with being hurt. After all, it wasn't something new to me, but I wasn't so sure about him.

I gulped a calming breath of air then said, "What do you want to talk about, Alpha? Do you want me to tell you that there isn't a person in this world that I hate more than I hate you? Do you want me to say that every time I look at you I see a monster?" My voice wavered as memories flooded my mind.

"Or perhaps, you want me to say that every time I think of you I remember that field filled with the corpses of the people I love? Is that what you want to hear?" I sucked in a breath, trying to stop the tears I could never cry out before.

I felt like it was yesterday when it happened. The loss was still fresh. The memories burned against my retinas. I never had the chance to mourn or cry about losing them.

Even opening my eyes all I could see was that day when everything and everyone I loved was gone. The rest he took the day after.

He leaned closer and brushed the tears from my face. "What do I do, Scarlet?"

I could read the concern on his face as clearly as I could hear the one in his voice. It hurt him to see me hurt now. He'd seen it countless of times and didn't do anything. Hell, he was the one who caused it.

"There's nothing you can do, Alpha," I said once I managed to get myself under control.

I stood up and gave him one last look before I turned away from him.

"You did all you could so now there's nothing you can do," I told him and walked out, hoping this was going to be the first and last meal we shared together.

#Next chapter is private.