As Long As I Remember

Remembering Maria

I stand in a dark room, filled with shadows and sorrow. I try to hide myself in the shaded corners, but it's no use. People come up to me. I see their mouths moving but I don't hear what they're saying. I walk away. In a trance. Toward the center of the room. Wailing and sobbing comes from all directions as I get nearer and nearer to the center. It's too late to turn back now. I lift my head up, will myself to be strong, and stare at the only thing that ever mattered to me in my life- the girl who is as close to me as a sister. She looks like she is sleeping.  

But she's not.  

She's gone.  

I remember when we would bicker with each other, and when we would sit down and just talk and rant about our life problems. She is so kind, so full of energy and love.  

No.  

She was.  

I guess that's just what death is, the transition of present to past.  

And I hate it, more than anything else in my life.  

But it's all for the better. Living in an orphanage takes its toll on a person. For me, it's severe asthma attacks. But Maria... She was different. From her early teenage years, she was plagued with all kinds of sicknesses. Too many to list. Her main sickness was chronic ear infections. So much pressure was put on her brain that it began to cause seizures. The Hawk Orphanage eventually gave up on her. Her medical treatments were draining too much money from the funds. 

So when her heart stopped on November 13, when she was only 19 years old, they didn't bring her back.  

It's a sick world.  

And why did all those diseases ever plague her? 

And why were they beginning to plague me? 

Yep. I have caught the 'Maria Bug', as the children at orphanage say. 

It happens to some of the kids when they hit around 12 or 13. The sickness they have progressively becomes worse until there is no hope left. And they die.  

See why it's called the 'Maria bug'? 

I can't take any of this anymore.  

I just can't take life. I'll never know my parent's names, or even if they are alive! I know I will never find out, because Maria didn't. There isn't any hope left for me. I just need a friend to turn to.  

I feel my blue eyes turn to stormy waters as tears begin to form.  

Why are you letting this happen to me, God?!?  

I can't be strong anymore. I run away, sobs escaping my mouth. I want to be alone so none of orphan children will see me break down. I almost escape into the bathroom when a hand snags my waist from behind.  

"Christina?" 

I turn around to see a pair of familiar eyes. Is he here to mourn the sudden death of Maria? They were never close, so why was he here? Why travel a whole 5 hours from his parents house? My last thought is 'his parents didn't bring Maria back. ' I don't really know what to say to him There are too many questions to ask right now. So I just say, 

"Matthew Hawk?"

A/N: Hey everyone! I just want to thank anyone who has taken the time to read my story! This is my first one on wattpad and every read and comment means a lot!

you guys rock! love, marierosa13 **Isaiah 40:31**