It is our choices (A Harry/Severus friendship fic post DH) (Watty Awards 2011)

Chapter 23- Numbing the pain for a while

Author's note: Thank you everyone for your amazing feedback- your compliments are amazing and i am so thrilled that you all are loving 'It is our choices' so much. A special 'hello' to all the new readers who have caught up and are beginning to comment! Thank you!!! Also, this chapter is dedicated to Nicole813711 for her constant support of my fic, for always commenting and providing feedback, and encouraging others to comment on 'It is our choices'. Thank you Nicole! She my 'most supportive reader dedication'. I have also decided that each chapter i post up until the end, i will dedicate to someone (a different 'type' of fan each time- it is going to be very hard to choose, but i will give it a go! Hope you all enjoy this chapter! Thanks so much for reading :D

Chapter 23- 'Numbing the pain for a while'

"Severus?" Harry whispered, standing perfectly still as he watched the man from afar. Severus hardly heard Harry; he was staring at the place Lily had just been, breathing fast as he felt his body return to normal. Heart pounding, Severus continued to stare at nothingness, his whole body mourning for the woman he had let go. And yet, he could feel Harry watching him and knew that Lily wouldn't want him standing there forever. Deciding that he should turn his attention to Harry, he turned around to look at him, acknowledging that he had heard his name. 

Harry jumped, just a little, at the sight of Severus; his face was pale, his eyes full of emotion. Harry had never seen Severus sad before, but the man was clearly sorrowful and it was hard for Harry to watch. Severus was someone who used to treat him with anger and contempt now looked at him as if screaming silently in pain. Harry knew the experience must have been difficult for Severus and in retrospect Harry wondered if it was the right thing to do; perhaps he shouldn't have encouraged the man to talk with the woman he has been pining over for years. But such thoughts couldn't distract him now; unfortunately, Harry and Severus had a job to do. 

"You okay?" Harry asked Severus, approaching him slowly for the man still seemed to be vulnerable. Harry didn't want to push him to put the protections around the stone if he wasn't ready to yet. 

Again, Severus didn't answer, though he heard Harry's attempt to comfort him. 

Finally, Harry reached Severus and placed a hand on his shoulder. Snape didn't move, didn't even flinch at his touch. He was still staring blankly in front of him and although he knew Harry had made his way towards him, he didn't have any desire to look at him. 

"You can talk to me," Harry continued quietly; he wanted Snape to know he was there for him but at the same time, didn't want to intrude upon the man's thoughts. 

Severus continued to look at the empty space in front of him, the vision of Lily escaping him; he could no longer see her and even though he tried to hold on, the only thing he could feel was a burning sensation in his heart... Lily. Although he could feel the woman he loved more than anyone else was with him, inside of him, he kept trying to hold onto her picture, her beautiful red hair and bright green eyes. But she was gone and Severus knew he had to try to and move on, for Lily... for himself. 

Suddenly Severus moved. Pushing aside Harry's reassuring hand from his shoulder, he picked up the ring, dug a small hole with his wand, buried the ring and placed the debris back over it just like it was before he found it. Without looking at Harry or uttering a sound, Severus began to place the same protective spells he put over the Elder Wand, around the Resurrection Stone. Harry hadn't moved and was simply watching the man do what needed to be done, regardless of how much grief he was feeling. Deciding that he better help, Harry stood next to Severus and began to add his protections to the Stone. It never occurred to him that he and Severus were now preventing themselves from having access to the one object that allowed them to see and speak to, the people they love. Although Harry was okay, for he had grieved over his parents, Godfather and Remus long ago, he knew that as Severus placed every charm over the ring, he was also preventing himself from seeing or talking to Lily face to face ever again. While Harry knew Severus would be okay, perhaps after a good night's sleep, he couldn't help but wonder how much pain Severus was in and wished that there was some way he could help the man.