Everything About You (A Harry Styles Fan Fiction)

Chapter 23

Saturday, September 26, 2009

It's been a week since lightning had struck my house and made it catch fire. The firemen had come as fast as they could, but almost everything had been destroyed. A lot of my clothes had been saved, but the furniture in my room, my pictures, posters, paintings, books, movies...all gone. Mum's stuff had been lost too. In her case, her clothes were all burnt into nothing. We were being lended money from the government, charities and people who just felt bad for us.

I hate that we're at that level; having to depend on everyone else. My mum and I had been staying at Harry's place for the past week. My mum is always on the couch and I'd taken the guest room. I wonder why Anne and my mum wouldn't agree to me staying in Harry's room...

My teachers, friends, my mum, Anne and Harry have all been worried about me. I haven't talked much. What am I supposed to say? I lost everything. That was the house I'd grown up in. It held so many good memories that I'll never get back. It also had a dark memory. One that had haunted me ever since I was 9 years old. It was October 11, 2003 when my dad walked out. He said he was doing it because he had to, but did he really "have to" leave his 9 year old daughter to a life without a father?

I don't hate him, but I don't love him either. I just try to pretend like he never existed in the first place. My mum was strong enough to represent both parents, so I'd never needed a dad. I hadn't thought about my dad for a while now, maybe a few years. I knew my mum probably thought about him more often. She loved him so much. They had been high school sweet-hearts. They were everything to each other. I guess things don't always last no matter how much you want them to.

 Oh wait, I just thought of a reason why I'm not so fond of Harry at the moment. He still hadn't told me what Oliver had meant. He promised he would, and he didn't. I'm beginning to wonder why I'm even trusting him. What was so wrong about knowing the truth? "Emmy, wanna catch a film? We've been stuck in the house for too long," Harry offered. I shook my head and wrapped my arms around my knees, pulling them to my chest as I sat on the brown, leather sofa.

"I don't know what I can do to help you, babe. You have to let me in. You're pushing me and everyone else away. People who care about you." I sighed and looked at him with tired eyes, "I'm just tired, Harry. Tired of our peers staring at me. Tired of being judged. Tired of wanting my home back. Tired of everyone worrying so much. Tired of people disappointing me. Tired of the lying and sneaking around. Of so many secrets. Tired of our friendship slowly evaporating into nothing. Tired of this relationship. Tired of you pretending to actually care. I'm just tired of being tired, and I'm tired of trusting you. Your words mean nothing."

Very subtly, tears formed in Harry's eyes as what I said sunk in. After a few moments, I realised that I'd made huge mistake by saying that, but it was already too late. I couldn't just take them back now. "If that's how you really feel, then I guess I should be tired too. Tired of wasting my time." Harry spun around and walked straight out of his house, slamming the door behind him. I hadn't meant all of what I said, but I did mean some of it. He can't just promise me something and not stick to his promise!

I got up from the sofa and went out the door too, hoping to find where he went. "I'm stupid," I muttered to myself. I spotted his curls from far away as he ran along the sidewalk. I ran after him, and was soon out of breath. Where is he going??

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I finally caught up to him, and smiled a little at where we were; the beach. The place where it all started. I hid behind a few pieces of driftwood and watched as Harry stomped around, kicking sand in every direction. "I love her and I mean nothing to her! Nothing at all!" Wait...he just said he loved me. He loves me. He used the L word. He also thinks he means nothing to me when he means the world. He couldn't really love me though. We're only 15. Love doesn't exist for us yet...right?