10 Years (Zerkaa/TBJZL) (A Sidemen Story)

Chapter 26 - The Rigours of Choice

The job that had been offered to Josh had intrigued him. It was a chance to become a game tester at one of the world's largest video game publishers. The primary stumbling block however was the fact that their headquarters were in Canada. It was a five year contract and Josh wasn't so sure Tobi would want to join him, in fact he knew he most likely wouldn't. This was a unique opportunity for Josh. He could do something he was very passionate about and knew he'd enjoy, but it meant leaving the country with many of his friends and family in and five years wasn't exactly a short amount of time. He had a lot of factors to weigh up making this decision, it's not like he had to go, he didn't have to stay for that amount of time he went, but Josh knew himself, he knew that if he started to enjoy life in Canada, he would want to stay. he would still be able to work on YouTube with the others but it would be far less often and long distance. He decided the only thing he could do was talk it over with the others. The one final thing he was wondering was why he specifically had been chosen for that role, but then he read over the letter from one of the company's top executives, which had chosen him for his "outstanding qualifications" he had earned at university and "his popularity and influence" among many passionate gamers, the assumption being that he would know what kind of product they would want. Josh had a dilemma.

The next day, Josh had called all the other Sidemen into the living room to talk to them about the news.

*Josh's POV*

"Hi guys, I've got something to tell you all" I say seriously, I'm apprehensive, I'm not sure what the others are going to say. They all just stand there awaiting the news, eager to hear what I'm about to say.

"I've been offered a job." They all looked confused, but then oddly they start clapping.

"Congratulations Josh!!" A chorus of praise heaped on me by them, something I appreciate, wait till they hear the actual details.

"What exactly is this job?" asks Ethan puzzled.

"Well I've been asked to become a video game tester for one of the largest game publishers in the world." I say happily, I'm still proud to have received such recognition, even if I don't know what I'm going to do.

"Wow, Impressive!" exclaims Vikk

"That's amazing!" chirps Simon

"I'm so proud of you!" gleams Tobi.

Sigh. Here's the tricky bit.

"The only problem is, it's a five year contract and I'd have to move to Canada." I mumble, foolishly hoping none of them will hear. Their faces drop, why does this have to be so difficult!?

"Oh" replies JJ, obviously concerned.

"And do you want this job Josh!?" asks Tobi emotionally, brilliant. I consider my response to this and I weigh everything up. At the end of the day, you only have one life and if you're given an opportunity, you should take it, that's what the formation of the Sidemen has taught me. The only problem is, I know this is going to drive me apart from the people I care about if I go.

"Honestly Tobi? Yes I do." Pure sorrow takes over. I can see the sadness appear upon his face.

"I want this job because I want to do something different. I don't want to be stuck in a routine my whole life. I want to do new things, I want to explore, I want to experience the world, I want to live every day as if it's my last because no one ever truly knows when their time is running out. I can take another person if I want. Tobi, come with me." I'm passionate about this and quite frankly I want it.

Tobi's face says it all.  He's experiencing a whirlwind of emotions. I know this is a huge decision, a life altering choice, but I think it would be an amazing adventure.

"What about us though?" interjects Harry.

"We don't want you guys to leave, we don't want either of you to leave, you're our best friends, we need you! Don't go." Harry echoes the thoughts of the other four who obviously feel the same way he does.

"Well that's obviously the hardest part. I don't want to leave you guys, but, this is a unique opportunity and I don't want to turn it down. We can still communicate and it's not like I'll be gone forever."

"But if you go, everything changes Josh, you can't not be here. I'm not trying to be rude but I think you're being a bit selfish" argues Simon. I'm insulted. This is my decision after all.

"Do you know what Simon, this actually isn't your decision, you can't fucking tell me what I can and can't do. You can't control my life, the irony is you're being selfish by not allowing me to go, you're not my fucking dad, so piss off and mind your own business." I retort coldly, I'm not having this.

Simon gawps at me. A shocked expression on his face, he raises his hand as if he's going to respond but he lowers it and concedes defeat, an incredibly melancholic expression painted on his face, he knows most of what I've said is true.

"Josh. You can't FUCKING speak to my boyfriend like that." shouts Ethan, Jesus Christ here we go.

"Actually Ethan, I think you'll find it's a free country, so I'LL SAY WHAT I FUCKING LIKE TO WHO I FUCKING LIKE." I respond

"STOP JUST STOP. Haven't we been through this enough times. I'm sick of arguing, I'm tired of confrontation. This isn't who we are." says Tobi, calming everything down, he's right, but even he isn't changing my mind.

"Josh. If you want, go, I understand why you want to and I'm willing to accept it." says Tobi understandingly.

"Thank you Tobz, thank you! I can't wait for us to embrace Canada! We'll be leaving in two months now I'm accepting the offer!" I say elated. I'm so happy, I can't believe he's accepting this.

"I'm not coming Josh." says Tobi bluntly.

My heart sinks.

"W-Why?" I ask despairingly.

"I can't leave what I've got here, I love you and always will, but I can't go with you, I can't do this Josh even with the confidence and adventurous nature you've brought out in me, I can't. I have too much here with me to leave."

"But I can't go sacrifice you and go Tobi!" I say incredibly upset, I'm devastated, absolutely devastated.

"Well it's your choice Josh. I want you do what you want and think is best for you." he says starting to tear up, sacrificing what we've built so I can pursue what I really want. I 'm indebted to him, I love him, but I can still make it work long distance.

"We can still communicate Tobi, it's not like I won't be here" I say hugging him.

He pushes me off. And explodes.

"BUT IT'S NOT THE FUCKING SAME JOSH! FIVE YEARS!? I CAN'T GO THAT LONG WITHOUT YOU!

I snap back, surprised by his defiance, but I want this so, so badly.

"I can still visit, Tobi. I can come during my time off."

"THAT'S NOT FUCKING GOOD ENOUGH!"

"WHAT HAPPENED TO SUPPORTING ME GOING!?" I retort, this is unbelievable.

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENS TO US IF I LEAVE THEN?" I ask angrily

Tobi's waterfall cascades from his tear ducts.

"We break up."