Invisible

Chapter 44 Mind Problems

Blake came home with Sam Tiff and I, after a light supper where no one really ate, we all called it a night and curled up in our own little corners.

I smooth out Blake's wavy hair as she snuggles next to me on the bed. Thank goodness the exhaustion of the day has worn her out and she now sleeps soundly.

My body and mind fight each other, tired beyond belief but knowing I can't sleep in the same bed as Blake, I'm liable to hurt her, trashing from a night terror or scare her with my screams.

I mull over Al's words, and I feel a tear slip down my cheek.

"Is Gordi okay?" I stepped close to Al and shifted Blake so I could put on hand on my cousin's shoulder. "Al?"

"Half his brain... they want to take out almost half his brain."

My eyes widened at his words, "can they do that? What will that do to him?"

My questions just made Al cry harder.

"When?"

"Tomorrow, they want us to decide by tomorrow." Maggie's voice sounded a little more calm than Al's but as she joined us she fell into her husband's arms, her face paled and in pain.

"And what if you decide not to?" In the back of my mind I pulled up a piece of information but the distress made it too hard to recall it clearly.

Now, I slowly and carefully shift away from the sleeping form at my side and replace my solid form for a body pillow. Blake snuggled up against it instantly and I hope she doesn't wake up and find me gone.

I open my laptop and start to search. While the results calm me some the horror stories definitely set me back on edge. -He's young, able to function, brain will compensate, make new connections, not the same after, a whole new person, when done wrong it can cause irreparable damage...- I snap the laptop shut and start to pace silently.

Gordi is a smart kid, not afraid to ask questions and always on his toes, besides drumming he's started to play pretend that he's a super hero scientist. I blame his parents for letting him watch Marvel movies. But will he still be able to ask questions, will he have the same excitement for life? Will we get Gordi back or just a shell of someone who was... Who barely was.

The alternative is too frightening to delve into. I stop at 'vegetative state' and blowing a blood vessel. The surgery will at least give him a fighting chance. By the time I come out of my fact finding stint it's past 1am and I can't breathe.

Blake stirs in her sleep and I tip toe over to check on her, my toes digging into the soft carpet to keep myself calm. She turns over and sighs, I sigh too, wrapping a blanket tighter around her before taking my pillow and creeping out of the room.

The chair by the fireplace is cozy and I don't mind the touch of yellow light or burning sensation on my face as I try to fall asleep. I seem hyper awake and every time my body slides into a dream I wake myself up. After 4 hours of this I give up and just cry silently while staring at the fire.

At 6:59, a minute before my alarm goes off on my phone I get a text. I snatch it up and feel a little better just see if it's Hunter.

H- 'Good morning. I hope this helps you to wake up a little happier. Playing Colorado tonight and the mountains are seriously breathtaking, here's a pic but it doesn't do justice. Anyway I saw the sunrise and wondered if you slept well. Did you? I really don't know where I'm going with this, can you call me later? Around 2 if your free, your time not mine. Miss you. :)'

I give a little breathy smile, he rambled on purpose but it was for my benefit. I'm so grateful for his friendship and his sweetness touches my heart so deeply that it almost hurts. I study the picture with fresh moisture in my eyes before replying.