Invisible

Chapter 52 Toehold

I cling tightly to Maggie's arm as she walks me out of the facility. The sun's natural light blinds me for a second and I squint to allow my eyes to adjust. Soft and warm smells linger as a breeze drudges up the smell of fresh cut grass and warm blacktop.

"Nothing too big, just a little welcome home party at Sam ad Tiff's." Maggie clarifies.

I nod, reminding myself that Sam is married now and I live with them. It's been an overwhelming 2 weeks.

People have come to see me and I can resister the look of disappointment on their faces when I don't recognize who they are. Al and Maggie didn't bring the twins and I understand. Who wants to bring their kids into a mental hospital?

"Will Hunter be there?" I ask, glancing back at the facility we just emerged from, not looking at anything in particular, just focusing on the window where my room was.

"He wasn't sure he should be." She says guardedly.

No matter how much I press no one will tell me anything more about Hunter, it's like his main tie to our little group was me.

"Does he want to?"

"I couldn't tell you. The kids would love to see him though. They've missed the two of you."

"I.. Um... I need to go to the store to pick up some things for tonight... Also I have another favor to ask..."

...

When Maggie pulls up to the right place she doesn't even have to look at me for confirmation, she just slows to a stop and unlocks the doors.

"Thanks, I'll be right back." The path through the stones weaves like an intricate dance and grass seems to almost give off its own light it's such a bright shade of green. I don't know if I want to scream or cry when I see the tombstones. Gently I reach out and touch the top of her's, the smooth of the granite chills my fingers even though the stone has been warming in the hot sun. "I miss you." I whisper into the breeze, a single tear falls onto the warm surface. "I'm so confused and turned around, what is right and what is wrong... I could really use your advice right now mom."

For a while I just stand in silence, eyes closed and mind spinning. I don't know what I thought but since I had lost everything else that mattered... a part of me had hoped that it was all just a dream that I can't remember and that I just woke up. And maybe by some miracle this was also a dream, but now I found that I woke just how I fell, alone.

Suddenly breathing feels like a heavy burden and I just want to cry, but no tears come. I want to mourn the years lost, the people who I met and learned and studied and loved over the last 4 years... But I don't know how.

On the way back to the car I pull out the brand new phone Maggie just gave me and find the right contact, the message forms quickly and I send it before I have a chance to think it out.

L- 'Please come tonight. I want you there, I need you there. If you don't want to I understand but I'm asking. I'm hoping you know the address but if not please ask Sam or Al. I hope I see you soon.'

"Ready?" Maggie asks as I get in and buckle up.

I just nod and stare out the window, after a few minutes in silence Maggie sighs and I look at her.

"Trying to figure you out again is exhausting."

"Am I that much different?" Her statement has perked my interest greater. If I'm going to remember who I was people need to start telling me more about who I was.

"You seem more confident."

"I wasn't before?"

"Well, Jacob leaving kind of knocked you down and-"