Guilty
I'm guilty. I HAD SEX WITH LUKE MY BOYFRIENDS FRIEND FUCKCKKKKKK.
I'm a horrible person and I can't deal with the guilt stabbing me through the chest with each breath to past through my lungs. I've had three panick attacks since Luke left and eaten an entire carton of rocky road ice cream. I'm fat and guilty....
I hate myself right now. Calum was so nice to me, he took care of me, and don't think he loves me but it felt like it. But he cheated on me, and honestly we never made anything official so why am I so worried.
Picking up my mess I go upstairs get dressed and stop crying for once today. I'm not going to waste my time on this shit. I need to make money for rent in need to get good grades in school and I need to stop being such a bitch about little shit. These panick attacks are a big pain in my ass and I'm tired of them so I've decided I'm not going to have them anymore. Tying my black converse and grabbing my purse and keys I run down the stairs ,out to my car. Climbing in I smile at the beautiful interior.
Moms always with me when I'm in here. Starting the car I drive downtown to the only Starbucks in our town and pick up coffee before shopping around.
I've been to several stores by now and my feet hurt. Deciding to sit down on a bench near the bank I sigh happy with my shopping spree. I got hats and new boots and I got my nails done and even talked to a friend from school I saw in Victoria Secret she was nic-
"Kat?" A familiar slurred voice makes me shiver like nails on a chalkboard.
"Dad...ew you smell bad." A ugly smirk is plastered on his unshaven face and there's food stuck to his chins.
"Hi baby." Standing up abruptly I growl.
"Don't called that asshole." Grabbing my arm he starts to bring his hand back.
"Hit me, DO IT" I scream at him an he does. A stinging red hand right across my cheek biting into my skin with a force of nature.
"Do it again daddy. Hit me again. See if it makes things any better for you. You're a drunk pathetic asshole who has nothing, you don't even have a daughter. I'm just a punching back to you." His hand comes back down with more force and I drop to the ground with a shriek.
"HEY FUCK OFF ASSHOLE. DON'T TOUCH HER." I don't see it but my dad's gets hit and falls into a pile of garbage. Oh looks he's home.
"Thanks" I mumble while picking up my bags, trying to hide the tears that have already drenched my cheeks.
"It's ok Kat." Looking up I see Luke standing in front of me with a tear running down his own cheek.
"Luke Thank you." He nods and starts to walk away. But I grab his wrist and pull him back.
"Why are you crying?" Shrugging he turns away.
"Luke please tell me. Is it because of me. I'm sorry I made you leave I was just so confused, but I like you too." He chuckles.
"No it's not that. I heard what you said. He's been hitting you for awhile now hasn't he?" Looking down I nod and grab for him. He holds me and let's me cry into his shoulder, and I do cry. I cry hard, left over tears from earlier today and from years of heart aches and pain.
"I'm a from a broken home and I feel invisible sometimes Luke it's so hard." Hugging me closers he nods.
"It's okay babygirl, I'm here."
But it's not going to be okay.
New updatesssssss hahaha I know this sucks but whatever.
