Bad Habit

c h a p t e r 19: With or Without You

-5 hours earlier-

"Logan?"

My voice shakes.

"Ellicity." He smirks as my name exits his lips. He looks around at the pictures on the walls.

Logan was one of those old family friends that always seemed to be around a little too much. He was one of those old family friends that was way too touchy with mom. Once upon a time, he fought in Afghanistan with my dad. My dad managed to remain sane. Logan, on the other hand, was unlucky.

"You know I heard about your sister. I remember summers at lake with you guys. I actually took that picture of you and Chl-"

"Don't say her name."

I'm standing behind the kitchen door frame, scared out of my mind.

"Why are you here?" I say, ready to run if needed. He looks away from the photos and at me.

"Oh, I just wanted to stop by and say hello," he smiles bashfully.

"You don't fly all the way to Australia just to stop by." I scoff.

"You're right kid. I just really missed you," he takes a step closer, "and your parents won't let me come over anymore, so I thought I'd come see you."

Laughing, I turn back into the kitchen.

"Yeah you're not allowed over there because you're fucking crazy."

"You know, you should be nicer to me."

He locks the door.

"And why is that? So you can sexually harass me just like my mother?"

He follows me into the kitchen, fiddling with the hat he was wearing before.

"N-no. Look Ellicity, I-I didn't mean to-"

"You know, just because she enjoys looking nice, doesn't mean you can take advantage of that. Just because she might wear something a little too short for her, doesn't mean you can take advantage of that. You had no right to what you did. Get out."

He's smiling and laughing. He seems focused on the door frame, running a finger along it.

"She was sick of her marriage. She was bored with your father Ell! How could you not see her so unhappy? She wanted me to help her. You could practically just see it. So I did. I don't think I did anything wrong."

The words he spit were bitter poison.

"You're disgusting." I say, taking out a spoon.

He steps closer to me, and puts a hand out. His pale, dry, veiny, finger tips shakily make their way to touch my cheek.

He whispers in my ear with his breath that reeked of alcohol and something else I couldn't quite put my finger on. "You look just like your mother. I can help you too if-"

My breath hitches and I drop the spoon, cringing.

"Leave. Please."

A knock on the front door.

Logan grabs me so suddenly, I lose my breath instantly. He covers my mouth to conceal my screams.

"Elli? It's Tessa and Ky! Open up, we brought pizza!" I hear Kyla sing out with her sweet voice.

I start kicking Logan, forgetting he was a Green Beret. He puts me in a head-lock to hush me.

I hear Tessa and Kyla's voices slowly disappear. All hopes of safety, gone.

"I'm going to let go, Elli. I want to talk. Just promise you'll stay and won't run."

He really thinks I'll stick around for his shit. After all he's done to our family? I ran away from everything because of him. I left my friends. I left Chloe. I left because I was scared and lied to everyone about it.

I nod in response.

He slowly releases me and takes a step or two back. I stood still, catching my breath and stare at the floor. I look though the hall and at the door for a split second. I start dashing towards it, with nothing else in my mind but getting away.

"You're making this really hard for me Elli," he whines as he cuts through the other room, running right ahead of me. He reaches for me again, but I dodge and sprint up the stairs, slamming my bedroom door, grabbing the phone, and running into my bathroom.

I begin dialling 911.

It rings, but ends quickly to say the number isn't available.

"Fuck." I cry as I hear Logan slamming on the door.

My tears burn my cheeks until it hurts my head.

Here I am, my life about to end any minute, heartbroken, afraid, and drowning in my own flood of sadness. I close my eyes and think happy thoughts.

Home, with Chloe, Mom, and Daddy. Riding our bikes down the street and picnics in the beach. Dad's promotion parties. Mom's excessive overdressing to Chloe's soccer games every Saturday. Early Sunday mornings in the screen porch with a warm cup of coffee. Christmas Eve parties with traveling family members. Playing dress up with Chloe and mom.

Luke. The meer thought of being able to miss him gives me a smile. Being lucky enough to say I can miss him. Being able to say I was once his. His smile. His lip piercing. His warm touch. His grasp on my hand. His witty comments. His romantic gestures. The way his says my name. His cockiness. His stupidity. Everything. He's not bad for me. He saved me from myself. I know who I am now. Lucas Robert Hemmings showed me my way in the real world.

I'll get out of here. It's just a dream. I'll wake up and be lying next to Luke. And everything will be okay.

I hear the bedroom door finally open.

I shut my eyes hard.

"I love you."

The bathroom door slowly opens.

"No please, d-"

***

Author's Note:

I think I'm proud.