Bad Habit

c h a p t e r 1 6: Almost Gone

Ellicity's POV

Luke's large fingers intertwined with mine as he dragged me out the school to the lot. His steps soon grew harsh and filled with anger. This little bipolar bitch.
"Luke-" I stopped. And pulled out of his grasp.
"What?" He turns with an annoyed look.
"Why are you so upset about this?"

He dramatically looks away and rubs his face with his hand to relieve some of his stress. He looks everywhere but at me, and starts mumbling.

"Because Ell, it's all my fault. With your entire life. I screwed everything up for you. I've changed you into something you're not. I'm a bad influence. I ruined something so pure. Think about it Elli, I'm in a band, I won't be able to support you, let alone a family later on in my life. " His voice slows down into shaky, scared words.

I know where it's going.

"This is wrong, Ell. So wrong... We can't- I don't know what I was possibly thinking." Tears were welling in his eyes.

His voice echoed through my head hundreds of times as my eyes became sore.

"We're nothing alike. Not until I- I hurt you, Ellicity. And I did it so badly, you changed into an even sadder version of me. I can just see the pain in your eyes, all the fucking time."

I can't cry now. Not one tear. I have to be strong for both of us.

Luke was crying, sobbing; to be precise.

"I internally hurt you, knowing how fragile you are. I'm a bad person, and you need to stay away from me."

"No I don't Luke." I pull him by the shoulders and hugged him.

"Nothing else matters." I assured, lightly kissing his cheek, only for him to pull away.

I placed my hand on his cheek so he'd look at me. I smiled, staring into his beautiful blue eyes.

"Nothing else matters because I lo-"

He backs away, with no tears falling anymore.

"Love?" He almost laughs.

My smile had faded into a look of confusion.

"You don't love me. You probably never did or will. How can you love me when all I've ever done was cause your saddness and agony? When all I've ever done was make you feel worthless and small? You can't. Whatever you feel, it's definitely not, 'love.'" Multiple tears had streamed down my cheeks after his speech.

"God damn it Luke! What the fuck are you saying?" I cry through my sobs.

He looks at a tree and throws his hands in his back pockets.

"I want to br-"

"Don't you fucking dare Hemmings..."

Quiet. For once.

"Don't you dare do this after us going through all of that. We fought through it all and finally came together. We found each other in a world of 7 billion others, and yet, I picked you. Because I fucking love you, you little shit. I don't care if you don't think I do, because I already know I do."

I honestly don't know where this is going anymore.

"You deserve better." He says flatly and disappears to his car, leaving me in shock.

***

WHOA. SORRY FOR TYPOS AGAIN, SCHOOL NIGHT. IM IN HIGHSCHOOL NOW AYYY.