Its A Love, Hate Relationship. (Completed and under edit)

Chapter Three

I jinxed myself. Of course I did. I thought for a split second that my life couldn't get worse, or be as worse as it was last year. And I jinxed it. Lucky me.

"Did you hear me?"

I looked back up at Jesse. Jesse and I were in his car, parked out the front of my house. He sat beside me, a hand on my shoulder, looking down at me. Excitement was evident in his face, but it was also laced with concern.

I nodded my head at him, never taking my eyes of the road ahead of us. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest and it felt like someone was squeezing around my chest, making it harder and harder for me to breathe.

"Isn't it great? Hes finally coming back! I thought I still wouldn't see him for months" he said happily, holding onto my shoulders.

"Yeah- great" I mumbled as I stared at my shoes. I ran my fingers through my hair and took in a deep breath of air. Be happy for Jesse, be happy for Jesse, I chanted to myself.

James is back. James is Jesse's older, male model looking older brother. I've been in-love with him, ever since the 6th grade when I decided that guys didn't have cooties anymore. Wait I was in-love with him. Was. Past tense being a key point here.

When he broke my heart and tainted my life with constant humiliation, I swore to myself to never think of him again. To push every feeling I had about him out of my mind. And honestly, without Jesse by my side, I would have been screwed. I don't think I wouldn't even gotten up out of bed most days. Which is why I have to be excited with him now, even though its the last thing I want to do.

"So, um, when does he get back?" I asked Jessie, who was practically jumping up and down on his seat.

Jesse was more excited than I had seen in weeks.  You see, James was Jesse's idol. Jesse has looked up to James for as long as I can remember. Simply because James was, well, perfect. And James was the only male in Jesse's life. Their father walked out and left them when he was only about eight years old and so, James was all he had. An unfortunate role model for Jesse, if I'm being honest.

Jesse loved him so much, he didn't disown him for what he did to me. I resented him for that, but eventually I realised, James was his fatherly role, so he couldn't. He couldn't even be that mad at him, and I eventually had to forgive Jesse for that. Even though James is a liar, a player, a jerk and a complete and utter asshole.

Thinking of James brings up something I had buried in the back of my mind all those months ago.

April 28th last year

"You all ready to go?" James called from the bottom of the stairwell. There was a dance the school was holding, and James had asked me to be his date. He asked out me, Allison Monroe, out of all the pretty girls at school.

I was dressed in a white balloon dress, with dark blue and grew flowers on it.  I had my hair curled and it fell perfectly down my back. I had a bit of foundation on with pink lip gloss. And to be honest, I looked amazing.

As I walked down the stairway, James eyes lit up, like I was the prettiest thing he had ever seen. I smiled and he held his hand out to me. I took it and followed him out to his car. I thought that night was going to be perfect. I looked perfect, he was perfect, the dance was perfect. Little did I know what he was planning.

When we arrived, everyone looked at us. A lot of people looked confused and amused, because the dork of Allie just wasn't meant to be here with James. However, I was. He pulled me out onto the dance floor, and we slow danced through a few songs. He whispered to me that he was going to get us both some punch. I nodded and just swayed by myself until he got back.

He handed me my drink and I took a small sip. The music that was playing finished and James was looking down at me. He lent down to me, so close our noses were almost touching. My thought my instant- he was going to kiss me. My heart started beating furiously as I stared into his eyes. I closed my eyes and puckered my lips, ready to kiss him.

All of a sudden I felt something cold splash over my body. I opened my eyes to find that James had dumped his drink on me. He stood there, smiling at me. Everyone in the dance began laughing at me. I cried out and asked him why he did that for. And you know what he replied?

'You are the most nerdiest freak I have ever seen. There was no way we were ever going to happen. You are ugly, disgusting and it hurts my eyes to even look at you. If I see you gawking at me the way you do when you see me in the halls every again, this won't be the worst thing that happens to you. Now, get out of here, you're a disgrace.'

With his words, I felt my heart shatter in my chest.  I started crying furiously and ran out of the hall, as everyone stood there and laughed at me. They laughed. No-one bothering to help me. I ran into the girls bathroom and ran into a cubicle. I sat on the toilet and cried. Cried until there was no more tears left in me. I walked out of the cubicle and looked in the mirror. And I looked horrid. My eyes were red and puffy, my white dress was now pink due to the punch and I had fruit bits all through my drenched hair. I turned on the tap and began to wipe myself down. Jesse suddenly burst through the doors and stood there, staring at the mess I was.

He walked up to me and hugged me. We just hugged for what seemed like hours. Screw James. I loved him, and he just completely humiliated me.

In front of everyone in our school.

I was heart broken. I knew he was a player and a bit of a jerk, but I didn't know that he would do something so horrible. At least not to me. Not to the girl who he has known his whole life. Jesse asked if I was okay and I just cried in his arms. He put his arm around me and walked me out to his car. Once in his car he told me that he wasn't happy with James for what he did but he had to forgive him. I turned my head to look out the window at the stars and drifted off to sleep.

Screw guys. I would get my revenge on what he did to me. He completely humiliated me. Ever since that night, people would just look at me strangely, laugh at me. I thought my life was over. But Jesse stood by me, and I learnt to just forget. Ignore the names people called me. Put my head up high and carry on. I had to try my best to not be forever tainted by what James had done.

Present time

"Tonight!" Jesse smiled, jumping for joy. My stomach dropped. "I know you two have had a rough past, but would you mind coming to my place tonight for dinner. I would really appreciate it, Al."

My mind was running a million miles and hour, and Jesse just looked down at me, begging me with his eyes. I sighed.

"OK Jesse, but for you. I may have moved on but I still don't want any association with him,"

Jessie nodded. "Thank you Al! I love you!"

I sighed and rolled my eyes sarcastically, "Yeah, I love you too."

He pulled me into a hug across the car seat and I slumped into his shoulder.

Honestly, I love this boy all too much. But his brother, nope. I had decided- he was going down. He was gonna pay for what he did to me. But for tonight, I'm just going to completely ignore him. I hate him, I reassured myself. We need to forget about the part of me that was still madly in love with him. I know it's bad, and that my feelings were just me torturing myself, but there is no getting over your first love. I just had to tell myself I hated him more.

I sighed. Well, I guess we're just going to have a love-hate relationship.