Silence~ (Book 1 of Cycle of Life)

Chapter 4- Concerns

Sehun: I can't believe that we didn't visit Chen yesterday... He must be depressed that no one came. All nine of us quickly ran to the hospital as fast as possible and found him looking out at the window. "Chen!" We shouted together. He turned and wiped his tears quickly. "Where were you guys yesterday?" He asked quietly. "Sorry, Jongdae hyung... We were busy with our practice..." I replied. He nodded and went silent. "Are you ok?" Lay asked concerned. He nodded with a smile. I found something off... He seemed like he was hiding something... But what?

I tried my best to smile... I didn't want them to know and worry... They shouldn't be worked up because of me. The hospital discharged me in the late afternoon after pleading for two minutes. I'm not dead yet... I will stand until I can't anymore. I was given some medicine to take if I didn't feel well... Not that it would make a difference. The walls are closing in on me... My chest hurts... I want my life to end now... I'm tired... I lost everything from the minute I heard of my condition... I will be silenced. Until then, I will give my voice to Exo, to all of our fans.

Three weeks later~

Baekhyun: Jongdae looked more sick. He had ups and downs for the weeks. He would even sleep past the hours and still be waking up tired. He didn't eat as much, coughed more often and had to vomit daily. Umin hyung and I looked at him each day worried about his health but, each time he would insist that he will be ok and told us not to worry with a smile. Dance practice was a little better, he was able to get his moves correctly quickly and recording wise, he gave it his all and performed perfectly. I don't know... Is he acting that he is ok or is he hiding something that is affecting his health? It's hard to find out, what ever it was... He is hiding it really well, especially with his smile and troll face...

Lay groaned in frustration as he tried to compose a song. "I just can't find the right rhythm for the ending." I tried replaying the beginning again and again with the lyrics I wrote. "Chanyeol, what do you think? You have some ideas?" Chanyeol went over to the piano and played some tunes. "Hm... This key sounds off... Try this one." Lay thought carefully and played the beginning part before slowly finished the song. I picked up the rhythm immediately and dropped my pencil. "We did it! We finished writing the song!" Chanyeol started to jump while Lay grinned. Suddenly I felt dizzy and grabbed the table in pain. Lay watched my movements, "Chen? What's wrong?" I lied and said I need to take some pain killers because my head was hurting. I felt sick so I tried my best to stand up and quickly went to the bathroom. I vomited and threw up blood. I sat on the floor wheezing and exhausted of living... I took out my tub and threw two pills in my mouth and swallowed it, bitter... Like life.

Chanyeol: As I watched Chen rush to the bathroom. He looked like he was in pain, grabbing his chest and wheezing. I stared at Yixing hyung while he stared at me back. We were both concerned. We called everyone else over for a meeting. "Do you guys seem to have noticed that Chen is acting weird since his discharge from the hospital?" Suho asked us. All of us nodded and frowned. "Is he actually hiding something from us? He seems to be more and more sick..." Kai said quietly. The bathroom door opened and we went quiet. Chen walked up to us with a grin, "Did I miss something important?" We shook our head and watched him sit between Sehun and Xiumin hyung. "Why are you guys quiet?" He asked with wide eyes. Baekhyun coughed to change the subject so I started to make funny jokes. Soon, the dorm was full of laughter. Chen was laughing his head off like the old days. I hope he is alright... He needs to get better.

I heard it all... They are concerned and suspicious of me... I can't let them do that... I must laugh... Be the old me, even when that was long gone. I want everyone around me to be happy, not sad and to do that... I will smile. It will hurt, but it's worth it. Everyday... It seems that time is running slowly... But my time is up, I will sacrifice my life, everything for everyone.