Possible trigger warning.
Tyler wasn't having a good day. He was having a sad day. It's been a while since he felt this depressed. He just felt like he wasn't worth anything.
Blurry was back again. He only comes back on Tyler's bad days. Blurry just makes him feel worse. Tells him he's 'not a good singer', 'he should just kill himself', and worst of all 'no one ever has or will love him'. Hearing this just makes him feel worthless.
The funny thing is, it always happens on Sundays. That's why he wrote the lyrics 'Sundays are my suicide days'. Not even Josh knows about his problems. He keeps to himself, keeps that smile on his lips. Only cuts on his hips. That way it's easier to hide.
He's only cut on his arms and wrists a couple times. After they healed up enough, he got tattoos to cover them. Usually black bands around his arms and wrists. He doesn't want other people knowing about his dark moments. Doesn't want them to know that he's not happy. Makes other people think he's fine.
But the thing is, he's not fine. He's never fine. After a long time, you get really good at acting fine. Just like they always say, practice makes perfect. He had in fact perfected making people think he was fine.
Today, Tyler was supposed to meet up with Josh to hang out and go over some songs. But he had no motivation for that. He only had motivation for death. And that's exactly what he wanted. That's what Blurry told him he needed to do. He needed to kill himself. Then everything would be fine.
He decided he should write out a letter. He wanted people to know that it wasn't their fault, wanted Josh to know that it wasn't his fault. After writing everything out and reading it over, he headed to the bathroom and locked the door.
His phone went off in his pocket so he turned it off completely. He didn't want anyone or anything to ruin his final moment of serenity. He grabbed his best friend, his razor, and sat in the bathtub. He let the water run for a little while.
Taking a moment, Tyler looked around and thought of the good he was doing the world. They would no longer have to hear his horrible voice or his stupid lyrics. Wouldn't have to see his ugly face anymore. In his mind, he was doing the world a favor. There was no love for himself. Only for those around him.
We all fall in line.
With that last thought in his mind, he took his razor to his wrists. And he sliced, deep. He watched the blood mix into the water. And he had one though running through his mind. It's so beautiful.
The crimson blood swirled with the clear water. It reminded him of putting food coloring into water. He admired it. He sliced again, wanting to see another swirl as the blood dropped from his wrists. He held up his wrists over the water, watching as droplets of blood fell into the water.
He was getting lightheaded at this point, his vision was going blurry. It's funny, Blurry was the one who made him like this, blurry. Just before his head lulled back and he went unconscious, he heard a faint voice yelling his name through the house. He knew exactly who that voice belonged to, Joshua William Dun. Before he knew it, everything was black.
Josh's POV-
I had been blowing up Tyler's phone for the past half hour, I really wanted to know what was going on. He was never late. Something was definitely wrong. I got up from my seat and ran out to my car, hurrying to Tyler's house.
I arrive within 5 minutes and knock on the door. There was no answer. I knock again. No answer. I turn the doorknob and it opens. There's no sign of him anywhere.
I close the door behind me and start running around the house looking for him. I holler his name, only stopping when I see the bathroom light is on. Knocking, I call out his name. There's no response. I try to open the door, it's locked.
Please no. Please don't tell me he's done what I think he's done. At this point tears are slowly running down my face as I grab the bathroom key. I unlock the door and step in. A sob escapes my lips at the scene in front of me.
Tyler is lying in a pool of his own blood, his wrists are slit. I run over to him while quickly dialing 911. I tell the operator all of my information, barely making any audible sentences out. Throwing my phone, I grab Tyler's face.
He feels cold, and it makes me sob even harder. I keep telling him to wake up. That I'm sorry. That I can't live without him. Telling him to not leave me. That I love him.
This is by far the worst moment of my life. At this moment I didn't want to be alive if Tyler wasn't. Paramedics rush in and get him on a stretcher, yelling things to one another. I follow them out, keeping a hold on Tyler's hand.
They let me ride in the ambulance with them, still holding Tyler's hand. They took it away from me though, bandaging it up and trying to stop the bleeding.
Within a couple of minutes we arrive at the hospital. I run through the halls with them, keeping a grip on Tyler's hand. Though, they tell me I'll have to wait.
"NO, LET ME STAY WITH HIM!" I cried out. But they wouldn't. They had me escorted to the waiting room. When I was fully seated, I fell apart. Everything fully crashed down on me. What if he dies?
What if I never get to see his beautiful eyes again? Hear that magnificent voice that would sometimes sing me to sleep? Be able to see his smile, one that could make me feel happy?
I started sobbing. I pulled my knees to my chest and just cried. Losing him would kill me. Losing him would mean losing my happiness. Because he was my happiness. Every time I had a bad day, I knew I could count on him to help me through it. Why couldn't I help him? It's all my fault. He shouldn't be the one dying, I should.
I somehow managed to fall asleep, crying really takes it out of you. I was awoken by a nurse asking my if I was there for Tyler. Nodding frantically, I ask how he is. She tells me that he's doing a lot better and that he wants to see me.
I follow her to Tyler's room and open the door. Seeing him in a hospital bed breaks my heart. He shouldn't be going through this. Hell, no one should be going through this.
I run over to him and wrap him in a hug, tears are streaming down my face again. "Please don't leave me, Tyler. I can't live without you. I love you."
He looks up at me with a small smile. "I love you too, Josh." I smash my lips to his. I know it sounds cliché, but our lips fit together like puzzle pieces. This sensation is amazing. I love this man so much.
We soon pull away and I place another small kiss to his lips. "Baby, we can get better. I will help you love yourself. I don't care how long it takes, I will be with you every step of the way. Just don't take your life away from me. Can you promise me that?"
He takes a moment before slowly nodding his head, a couple tears escaping his eyes. I wipe the tears away with my thumbs and give him another kiss.
Was that bad? Idk, I teared up a bit while I wrote it. I'm sorry it was sad. I'm just not in the happy mood rn.
