Meh. This will prolly be sad. Sigh
Castiel-
Dean tried his best to hold back the tears but to his dismay, the tears eventually cascaded down his reddened cheeks. The cold was finally starting to get to him but that was the last thing on his mind. He was just in so much pain, both physical and mental. He felt as though he was the cause of every problem in his life. Whether it be something small or something large, he couldn't help but blame himself for it. It's been engraved into his mind, his father wouldn't ever let him forget it.
It didn't matter that the man was probably in hell, his words and actions still haunted him. The words of pure hatred still swam around in his mind like sharks, taunting his every thought or action. He hated to admit it but he was scared, so fucking scared. His brother meant the world to him and he couldn't stand to see him go. That was the last thing that the man had wanted. So, what is the first thing he did? Blamed himself. That's all he seems to know at this point.
Humans are so weakened by emotions. Well, I'm not absolutely sure that it is that of weakness. However good or bad the emotions are, they will be a human's downfall. Love is an amazing yet heartbreaking thing, or so I've witnessed over my many years of existence.
I don't know why I feel like this. Feel? It's so foreign to me. Never in my lifetime have I witnessed a creature of such magnificence. I watch as he holds his brother close. I see just how much the loss shatters him, the thoughts of self hatred consuming him.
I know exactly what he's thinking and it hurts me. Knowing that something of such beauty can have thoughts of such loathing. I know what actions he is going to take and I don't want that for him. I would reveal myself if it were possible but that is against plans. Who knows what would be done to me.
I have to wait to be called upon for action. Until then, I must sit back and watch as this man destroys himself as well as his future. This is going to be so painful, I can already tell.
Time Skip M8
I couldn't hold back for any longer. Dean was in hell. He was in unimaginable pain. I couldn't stay back and watch as he suffered for nothing. His only fault was that he seemed to care too much. I do not believe that he should be punished for that.
I had to establish a plan. This would not be an easy task, I would have to rebuild him as well as drag him from the fiery pits. This was definitely going to affect me, I'm not sure if I was ready for that but it must be done. Father is going to be absolutely pissed as the humans would say.
The rebuilding process is long and grueling. I must finish as soon as possible so I can get him out of here. The thing is, every time we're in contact with one another I can feel us bonding. It's such a strange thing, I didn't think I would be able to grow so attached to a human being. It didn't take long for us to develop a need for one another. Strong and like nothing I had ever experienced.
Rebuilding him gave me the chance to further explore just how beautiful he indeed was. Every piece of him was selfless, brave, strong, just so pure and stunning. It wasn't long before it was time to bring him back to Earth.
I finally was able to grab him without much conflict and hurry away. I gripped him tight, holding him to my chest. To each other, we were the life line keeping one another going and that was so very important.
It was so painful. I could feel the hellfire burning my wings. My once pure black wings were now scorched and no longer as alluring as they once were. My wings wrapped around the both of us as I got us out of there. The pain was still there, it would take a while before they would be restored to how they once were. Which may never occur.
In the end, I thought it was more than worth it. My wings were not as grand as the man wrapped in my arms. I must make it a point to be involved in his life. I don't want him to forget our connection. To me, that would feel like death. My own father was not here for me. I'm not sure if I could handle another person of such importance abandoning me.
As I walked through those doors, I did not see the love and recognition that I had expected. I approached, hoping that he might remember me. He didn't and I was stabbed in the chest...literally. I couldn't help the smirk that adorned my face. No matter how much pain I was in, I still loved his bravery and skill. I know he can still feel the connection, I know that he's seen the mark. The bond that we have formed cannot be damaged so easily.
It didn't take long before I had fallen even more in love with that man. I find myself in constant pain. No matter how hard we had fallen for one another when I rescued him, he doesn't remember. I have to see him almost everyday and it hurts me. I still hold onto the hope that one day he will remember everything that we had been through. Though it never seems to happen.
No matter how much I sometimes wanted to forget the memories, I know that I never really could just let them go. They would stay in the back of mind. I doubt that they would ever actually be forgotten, washed away into a pit of nothingness. I always keep close to him, wishing that my closeness might trigger the memories. Why can't he just remember?
Time Skip
It's been about a year now. I can see the want in his eyes, the need. He's so desperate yet fearful of what others will think, what his father will think. Even in death, it seems that he wouldn't let his son live his own life. He didn't get to keep his happiness so he also kept that happiness from his eldest son.
I so desperately wish to do something, I just don't want to lose Dean. There is no telling how he would react to something of such significance. He would either kick me out of his life or reciprocate the feelings. I'm not sure if I should take the chance... Maybe I should further consider my options. I feel like such a failure. I am a failure.
I hear Dean praying to me, making me feel needed. I'm soon standing before him, curiosity enveloping me. I'm shocked as I'm pushed into a wall and find lips upon my own. My eyes are wide, blinding blue orbs filled with pure panic and surprise. Before I can respond to the sudden kiss, he pulls back. A small breath escaping his soft lips.
Nope, I refuse to let this happen. I've waited way too long to do this, there's no way I'm wasting the moment. I grab the back of his neck with one hand, cupping his cheek with other. I press my lips to his once again, allowing myself to melt into the kiss. Our lips moved together in perfect unison.
He was once again the first to pull away. I sighed, wanting much more from the man before me but knowing there was something on his mind. I watched as he tried to form a sentence, letting his mouth fall open and closed. He finally manages to say something.
"I love you, Cas. I don't know if you feel the same or not but I hope you do. It would really be a damn shame if we couldn't do this all the time."
He then closes the space between us once again. I pull away first this time, giving him a taste of his own medicine. He groans at the loss of contact, making me smile.
"I love you too, Dean. You have no idea just how much."
