Things Lost and Found (a Waglington and Mianite fanfiction)

Chapter 48

The song of the day is "Hold Me Now" by Red. I had such a hard time settling on a song for this chapter, but this being one of my favorite music videos finally did the trick. :) The other contenders were "Hold On To You" by NateWantsToBattle and "How To Save A Life" by The Fray.

I just realized that I never gave you all an update on how my aunt is doing. *face palms* I think the main reason for that is my pessimistic nature; I'm afraid that if I say anything I'll jinx it. :P She is doing a bit better. She's been released from rehab (up and walking for the first time in more than a month), her pneumonia's cleared up, and her liver values on her bloodwork are less bad. She's home with her husband and dog. If she can stay clean (off alcohol) for another ~4 months, she can go on the waiting list for a liver transplant. I repeat: Do NOT turn to alcohol to drown your sorrows. Not worth it. Ever. *stops because I start tearing up*

On to the story...

*Martha's POV*

Several days had passed since Waggles left in a huff to try to find Steve, and we hadn't heard anything from him. I hadn't realized that he would be unable to check in with us until Donella mentioned something about it. I could still contact Wag, technically, but I wasn't convinced he would want me in his head yet. He could hold a grudge when he wanted to.

I had been keeping myself busy since he left, researching new spells in Ars Magicka, practicing some circle magic, delving into Thaumcraft, attempting to meditate. The last was the least successful. Whenever I tried to clear my mind, I couldn't stop thinking of either Steve or Wag. My mind would often drift toward one of them. Each subconscious attempt to reach Steve ended in a brick wall I could not get past. I could just barely feel him on the other side, though I could not contact him. My anxiety was only slightly quelled by knowing he was still alive.

When my mind drifted to Waglington, as it did now, I tried to catch myself and pull back when I started to sense his mind, wanting to give my best friend and champion space. This time, the brief glimpse I caught held my attention. Something was wrong. Wag was in pain. I dared to drift closer and caught flashes of fire, smoke, and fear. I stayed there long enough to realize that whatever danger he had been in was past, but he was injured. And I couldn't tell if he was asleep or unconscious.

Before I could consider helping, I felt Memento mentally growling at me in warning. He at least was aware of my presence. I reluctantly backed away from them, returning to my own mind where I sat on my bed. Sunlight spilled through the room's windows. How long was I out? I drew a deep breath, trying in vain to wipe the worry from my mind. Too well I remembered my nightmare, especially the part where I lost both Steve and Wag. I had come surprisingly close to that in recent days, and that thought terrified me. Even as a goddess, I was powerless to save the ones I... love.

I sighed and decided to get up and make myself some tea. Our heated exchange from a few nights ago kept playing in my mind as I walked down the hall. I had envisioned a completely different conversation when I followed him out at the party. I rubbed my hands over my face and stopped with them covering my eyes for a moment, leaning against the wall of my stairwell. I've really gotten myself into a mess, haven't I?

My nightmare had brought a lot of things into focus, things that I had chosen to ignore or never admitted to myself in the first place. I had been unfair to Steve and Wag before. I pushed them away when they gave me no reason to. I had been afraid of getting too close to someone only to lose them. I could see that now. That's why I'd contacted Steve, and I had intended to talk to Wag when I got back from meditating. I needed more time to think about things before seeing him.

My feelings toward Steve were straightforward; I loved him, flaws and all. Steve and I had known each other for almost two decades. Even though he lived in Urulu most of that time, I had visited him every plant and harvest, under the guise of helping the farmers and checking on our family's contacts in the city. Ours was a relationship that could be left for months and picked back up as if nothing had happened. (Reference: Wag's S2 Day 85 ~15 minutes in. If you haven't watched Wag's POV, I'd recommend checking it out. I don't think Wag shared this particular book with the others...)