Things Lost and Found (a Waglington and Mianite fanfiction)

Chapter 49

The song for this chapter is "I Don't Know How" by Jason Gray.

*Jordan's POV*

"Hello again, My Lady," I said to the open air. "I hope wherever you are, you're doing well. Maybe you finally got to visit those dimensions you saw in your dreams." I sighed, seeing my breath briefly in the chill air.

I sat on the roof of my eastern tower, underneath one of Dargonite's wings. The sun was coming up now, making the ebony scales shine. Andor had sculpted it so well, I almost expected the dragon to move, but it stood cold and lifeless like the morning.

I had taken to spending most sunrises up here whenever I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep. By now I had worn a divot in the stone where I always sat and dangled my legs over the eastern edge. On early mornings like this, I'd talk to Ianite. I had before we'd found her in this world (though I didn't have my towers set up at the time), and I continued to do it now.

I'd dealt with loss before, after Capsize, and it had sunk in pretty quick that I was never getting her back. Something about losing Ianite was different. I knew that she was gone, but I kept catching myself acting as if she had merely gone on a trip and would come back any day now. Maybe my heart couldn't accept the truth. Whatever the reason, I'd given up on reminding myself she was dead. I just made sure no one else was around for my talks with her. The others would think I'd well and truly lost it if they caught me up here without my angel ring, talking to a dead goddess at the crack of dawn.

This morning I was feeling worse than usual. I hadn't been the only one to wake up from a nightmare today. For the first time since I'd been watching them, one of the Ianitas—the original one—had woken up scared to death. She'd actually woken me up from my own nightmare when she came into my room an hour ago with tears in her purple eyes. She wouldn't tell me what her dream was about, only snuggling closer to my chest when I tried to ask, holding on to me as if she were worried I'd disappear. She cried herself back to sleep twenty minutes later. It had broken my heart that I couldn't think of a way to help. I'd carried her back up to her sisters in their room and settled her in. Once I'd checked on the others, I got BroRobes and headed up here. I should be able to hear if one of them got up again, since I was right above their room.

What had my nightmare been? Ianite had discorporated; what else would it be? I was reminded once more that I had failed her. See you soon, my man. Those were her last words. Had she meant them for me, or had she thought I was Spark when I ran up to her that day? I wasn't sure which option I'd prefer. I shook my head and tried to gather my disjointed thoughts. "I wish you were here," I admitted tiredly, eyes unfocused. "You'd know what to do. Who have I been kidding? I have no idea how to raise a little girl, let alone ten of them. Martha and Mot have been doing their best to help, but it's just not the same."

I paused here to clear my throat, which had felt scratchy and sore for a couple days now, ever since that meteor messed up my DBS. I shook my head and let out a mirthless laugh. "I couldn't even keep my pet slime alive or keep Tom from stealing Jardon's Rose. How do I comfort and protect the Ianitas?"

You're stumped now? Try not to think about them hitting puberty, BroRobes felt the need to interject.

Oh, Ianite... "BroRobes, why?!" I was so in over my head.

Told ya not to think about it, dude. I could hear a smile behind his words, if he could smile. I swear, if it weren't so cold out here I'd throw him off the roof.

"Not the point, brah. I couldn't do anything when Capsize was killed, and I was just as useless when Ianite died. How can I hope to keep my girls safe?"

Ya just try your best, bro. It's what you always do, He said as if it was obvious.

And what if my best isn't good enough?