I'll keep trying.

I shouldn't let this anger this the best of me.

When I woke up I didn't feel her sleeping in the same spot as last night. Slowly I woke myself up and expected the room to see if I saw her around, she wasn't. 
I quickly wondered she woke up and realized who she was laying in bed with and bolted. Where to? I have no idea. 

I stepped out of Tori's hotel room and knocked on our hotel room, nobody answered. I knocked again, this time more aggressive and heavier. Still no answer. Oh god, what is this a prank? I knew they'd pull something like this. Right when I was about to turn back around into Tori's room, a shirtless Speedy answered the door. 

I blushed when to see Speedy standing, yawning and groaning at the door. 
Jokingly, he leaned onto the door frame and said "Morning Sweetheart." 
I blushed even harder and I shoved Speedy aside and went to my luggage. 

Speedy: Don't like whatcha' see? 
Sidearms: No, you're like..perf. No homo. 
Speedy: Oh tons of homo, Side. No one says "perf". 
Sidearms: No matter what I do, I manage to make this more gayer and just a tad bit more awkward. 
Speedy: Hey, I didn't quit streaming and started working out more so only I, myself could see me built. 
Sidearms: Please, put a shirt on. 
Speedy: Okay-Okay, Mom.
Sidearms: That's Daddy to you. 
Speedy: Oh, please no. I get it enough from the tweets! 
Sidearms: But I was the first to call you, Daddy! 
Speedy: And hopefully the last.. Say what happened with Tori last night? 
Sidearms: Last night...? 
Speedy: Uh..yeah. 
Sidearms: Nothing, really. She fell asleep on me. 
Speedy: On you?! 
Sidearms: U-uh.. I mean.. she just fell asleep... I-I....I..
Speedy: Sidearms.. You sly dog! Tell me the deets. 
Sidearms: Nothing happened, Speedy. 
Speedy: By the tone of that voice, something happened. Go shower and tell me A$AP Rocky.
Sidearms: But nothing happened! 
Speedy: Shower. Now. 

And so I did. When I got out of the shower fully-clothed, Speedy whispered he wanted to grab a breakfast in the lobby. 

Speedy: The guys will wake up eventually. 
Sidearms: Unless they're dead. 
Speedy: Or they're dead. 

We took the elevator downstairs talking about how we should have a little SpeedyArms bro time. We also had to eventually record something soon for H3M. We were behind about 4 videos since the last time we posted one. Vikk would always tweet us back that it was okay and that nothing really has happened then a few dungeon raids and building they built but we still wanted to come on the server to post something on our channels. Speedy brought his laptop so I suggested we do a bit of recording. I had about 3 mics with me so that wasn't really a problem. Speedy gladly agreed. 

Once we got downstairs, I noticed Tori and some guy walk back into the front doors of the lobby. 

It was Tori and G18. 

I don't know why I felt such anger towards G18. He was one of my best buds, why did I feel so jealous? I just confessed my love towards Tori last night. Did she not remember? Was that really her high talking for her? Did she even mean it. 
The more I thought about it, the more anger built up inside of me. She didn't wake me up to tell me where she was going. She didn't even text me. She just got up and explored the city with G. 

Putting more thought into it the closer we walked. Why would G18 do that? Didn't he knew that I practically loved her? Does he like her too? Where did they even go? Why?

Speedy: Hey maybe G and Tori want to get some food with us! 
Sidearms: I...I...I guess..

Speedy ran up to them and greeted them. 

Speedy: Hey y'all, what are you doing up so early? 
G18: I woke up so early and Tori was awake as well and we walked a view blocks to a coffee shop to get her some "Feel better coffee". 
Tori: It was super sweet of, G.
G18: It was no big deal. 
Tori: So what are you and Side doing up so early? 
Speedy: Little Sidey here woke me and I decided we should go get some breakfast. 
G18: What about the rest of the guys?
Speedy: They're still asleep. I texted them to meet us here if any of them woke up. 
G18: Nice. 
Tori: Shall we guys? 

I was kinda heart broken at this point. She didn't even say hi to me. The thought was buried in my mind that she didn't mean anything I said yesterday and that everything she said was just her high speaking for her. I got so angry but the sadness kept winning the battles. 

I stood with Speedy the entire time, I even sat next to him. Once we finished breakfast, Speedy explained to G18 that Speedy and myself were going over to my house to record some H3M for our channels. We still had about 5 1/2 before the convention started so we shouldn't take so long. 

They said their goodbyes and I gave the most "You hurt me but I'm okay I guess" smile I could have ever gave them and left. 

I didn't think we were gonna record so soon since the actual H3M time was 2 hours later but some how I felt like Speedy knew what he was doing. 

Once we made it to my car, I tried to put the keys inside, I trembled..alot and the keys fell. 

Speedy: Okay, Sidearms. Spill. 
Sidearms: Wait, huh? 
Speedy: What happened last night between you and Tori. 
Sidearms: Nothing of importance at this point. 
Speedy: C'mon Side.. 

I tried so hard to push back some tears, I even choked a little before I spoke. 

Sidearms: Last night, Tori was at her mellow stage. She was laying on her bed and I laid next to her. I started playing, you know, chill music to go with mellowness maybe she'd fall asleep at some point. I talked to her, quite a lot, like that rambling I do when I'm nervous.. and then she like.. got on top of me..She was so nervous..she was trembling....She told me..She told me she wanted to more than a friend...and then she kissed me..and we kissed and we kissed..until she felt sleepy enough to actually fell asleep..and when she did she held my hand..She..
Speedy: Sidearms, not so fast! 
Sidearms: Speedy..I told her I loved her...l-like..I love her a lot...