Defenders: The Crimes of the Capitol

Chapter 23

Finn's POV

Jem lies before me sound asleep in her hospital bed; Meg insisted they loosen her restraints while she sleeps and I feel like Jem rests better without them, she doesn't feel so trapped or like a prisoner here, and her wrist isn't at risk of breaking it further. But she's so different now; her hair, her body, her face, her voice, even her eyes, her beautiful eyes, and her personality, her quirky, cute, stunning personality has changed. Her hair's short, thin, and almost faded in a way. Her body is thin, broken, and weak from the months of being tortured and starved. Her face, her once beautiful young face, is worn and tired, not even sleep chances the permanent worried look; her eyes only add to the change, they're constantly filled with a primal fear, even when she appears calm, her eyes don't lie, she's terrified. She rolls over and a small strand of her falling over her face, on impulse I reach out, but my hand is stopped by the one way glass separating me from her.

I jump as I hear the door open behind me. I turn and see Meg standing there in her pajamas. "Hey..."

"Hey Finn..." she says "can't sleep?"

I nod and she sits beside me, staring out at Jem. We sit there in silence. Meg opens and closes her mouth a few times, like she wants to say something but doesn't quite know what it is yet.

"What is it?"

"What is what?"

The corners of my lips twitch like they want to smile "What do you want to say?"

She opens her mouth again and begins absentmindedly picking at her fingers, "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure?"

"Do you think I'm a good choice for Mockingjay?" she asks nervously "Because...I feel like I'm not strong enough to do this anymore."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I say a bit sharply for my tired state. She gives me a look mixed between surprised and offended. "No one in this damn place is more qualified for Mockingjay than you. Everything you've done here has prepared you for the role of Mockingjay. You think you're not strong enough? Look at how much you've gotten through already? And you're still here. Every death, every tragedy, you've come out stronger than before."

She's quiet for a moment, absorbing what I've just spewed out to her and lets out an airy breath, shaking her head "Yeah, I'm stronger alright, at the bottom of a bottle every time something bad happens. I'll probably be going back after seeing this."

She gestures towards Jem's pale, sleeping body, and all I can do is sit in a stunned silence. "I thought you finished doing that."

She gently shakes her head and sniffles "I thought I had too."

I fully turn to her, and turn her to look at me "Meg, I'm not going to let you, I know you think you have no choice, but things are going to get better. We've broken through the Capitols electronic defenses, we're crippling them from the inside, almost all of the districts are with us, and we have Jem back."

"She's not back, Finn; she may be here physically, but she's never going to be the same. Our Jem's not back." Why is she always so negative?

"Yes she is, it might take some time but our Jem will come back." I tell her, "She won't be exactly the same, but she won't fear us anymore, she'll be with us again."

Meg sighs gently and looks at me "I believe you Finn, as hard as it is, I believe you.

Meg and I sit in silence for a few moments before we nearly jump out of our chairs to the sound of the door opening. Collin silently slides in and stays standing near the door. Meg glances at him slightly before returning her attention back to the glass. Great, they're still not talking.

"How's our girl doing?" He asks quietly. I crack a small smile at his words remembering saying the same thing to Meg about him.

"She's sleeping soundly."

"Yeah, nothing's gone wrong, yet." Meg says from her chair, gaze unmoved.

Collin seems to accept the information and starts to walk over to the chair by Meg, but at the last second, he decides against it. "Dude, we all know what's going on with you two. Just sit by her." I tell him, rolling my eyes.

Meg turns almost instantly, "You told him?!"

"No!"

She turns to me. "He told me, only after I asked."

"Oh, my God, You boys are so disgusting!"

"If we're so disgusting, why don't you date him already?" I counter

They look at each other then look to me. "Finn that made absolutely no sense." Collin says

"Well, if that's the case, why don't you take your own advice and date Jem?"

I sit in silence; I would date her...if I could. But I don't say it aloud, I don't know how they would react to it, so I decide to keep to myself. Meg stares at me and smiles a bit to herself.

"She told me she likes you" she says a bit smugly "And that you two almost kissed before we went to the games."

"Yeah, I saw."

"So don't give me shit about Collin, unless you want me giving you shit about Jem." I can't help but chuckle a bit to myself.

"You think it bothers me?"

"I know it bothers you, because you know you'll never get that back"

That was cruel, even for Meg. The reality is like a slap to the face. Jem may be back, but her feelings for me are gone and they may never come back. I have to turn away from her; out of the corner of my eye I see Collin whisper something to Meg and she quickly retorts.

"No! I wasn't going too far! He needs to face the facts! Jem is never going to be the same again! Look at Peeta for Christ's sake! Today he had an episode because of Jem flipping out! It would have been better if the Capitol had put a bullet in her head." By the end of the rant, Meg has tears streaming down her face. I look over to see the two that I saw in the games, how I saw them on screen; a worried crying girl who's been through too much already, and a boy who's just learning the meaning of true pain, trying his hardest to take hers away.

A muffled grunt through the speakers catches my attention, but is missed by them. Looking through the glass I begin to see Jem toss and turn. Her heart rate quickly increases and she begins to thrash around, crying out our names. Then I notice the blood stains forming around her legs, something's very wrong. The doctors run in and Mrs. Everdeen begins to shake her awake as the others hold her down.

"NO! YOU'RE A MUTT!" Jem screams as she wakes up and the bed sheets quickly become soaked in blood.

End of Book Two