Defenders: The Crimes of the Capitol

Chapter 2

Meg’s POV

It feels like it’s been days since they told me but a glance at the clock tells me it’s only been about eight hours. My cheeks are red and eyes sore from crying. Collin hasn’t moved, he just lies there in the hospital bed, while they allowed me to sit up. I don’t know what happened in the arena when I was going to the cornucopia, but whatever happened he must be upset over. I don’t have the heart to ask him, or the guts to ask to see the footage. Finnick has been sitting in a chair in the corner with his head in his hands, every once in a while getting up and pacing; he stopped breaking things a few hours ago, he hardly talks to me. The nurses switched to the night shift about an hour ago.

“Meg…” Finn says quietly, and I look up at him, he sits with his elbows on his knees, looking at me, eyes and cheeks red from crying. “You want anything to drink?”

“Yeah...I’ll take some water” He nods and gets up “Collin? You want anything?” I lie back, not expecting him to answer.

“Water’s fine.” He says; his voice raspy and barely heard. I look over at him as he sits up for the first time in hours. Finnick nods and walks out. I watch as Collin stretches his arm, it must have fallen asleep. His eyes are slightly red and his cheeks a bit pink. As hard as it is to believe I think he might have cried a little.

“Hey...” He looks over at me.

“Hey” He replies, swallowing to speak.

“You okay?” I ask and he sighs.

“I don’t know. You?”

“I don’t know…” I repeat, looking down at my hands. “Are you going to tell me what happened? Why you’ve been anti-social for hours?”

“I…I..” He tries to say something but something is holding him back, I can tell his mind is reeling “Meg… remember that I was suspecting a traitor while we were in the games?” I nod “In the last few minutes we were there I…I thought it was Jem...” now it kind of makes sense why he feels bad “but she tried to tell me it hadn’t been her, but then the mutts came and she couldn’t tell me. I should have been protecting her but I only thought of myself. When the arena exploded all I could think of was getting myself out, she was within reaching distance, I could have grabbed her, but I didn’t.”

“Collin, when the arena exploded none of us could have done anything. You probably weren't even conscious when the hovercrafts came in.” I try to reason with him. But he shakes his head, running his hands through his hair.

“I was conscious, I don’t know how, but I saw Jem lying there. She was only a few feet away, she wasn’t moving. I thought she was dead; there was so much blood on her back. I heard explosions, and then the claw picking me up. I felt it shaking. I should have grabbed her, pulled her up with me. I forced myself not to black out until I was on the ship. I had to see if I was picked up by the Capitol or not. I should have gotten her.”

“It wasn’t your fault. But I do have a question.” He looks over at me “Why didn’t you trust her? Why did you suspect she was the traitor?” He sighs.

“I suppose it was in the knife.” Knife? What knife? Now I kind of want to know what the hell happened. He notices my confused look “One of Jem’s knives were thrown at me, hit me in the shoulder. I thought she threw it. Then she was fighting Charm and talking to him, I didn’t hear what she was saying, but she was bargaining with him. I thought she was working with the other group. She had given you those meds, she technically killed Chrystal. I don’t know...I suppose in the heat of battle I was just overwhelmed, threw the knife at her, and then I killed district one. I should have trusted her. I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions, and I should have grabbed her when I was picked up. I fucked up Meg. I fucked up.” His voice is shaking by the end of his rant.

I’m silent for a moment and when I open my mouth to reply I’m interrupted by the sound of breaking glass. Collin and I look over at the door where Finn stands, his hand bloody from gripping the glass of water too tightly, breaking under the pressure.

“You did what?!” He practically shouts, the remains of the glass falling to the floor sprinkling his blood on the white linoleum.

“Dath calm down.” I say as Collin looks between us with slight fear in his eyes.

“Why the Hell should I?? Have you not been listening to him??” Finn shouts “Jem is in the Capitol because of him!”

“No she’s not.” I say trying to calm him “She’s in the Capitol because Karter betrayed us.”

“She might not have been if he hadn’t been selfish” Dath says and Collin sighs.

“Yeah…Dath you’re right.” He says “It’s my fault. I could have saved her. But I didn’t”

“Will you two stop playing the blame game and wallowing in self pity?!” They look at me. “It’s neither of your faults! It’s the god damn Capitol that has her! The Capitol has Jem…” tears are flowing freely down my cheeks as the fact once again settles in as a lump in my chest.

“Meg…” Collin starts to say but his voice falters. “Dath, you’re still bleeding. You should probably get a nurse down here.” Finnick looks down at his shaking, bloody hand, then goes over to a table, and presses a button to call a nurse over.

I lie back on the bed, not bothering to wipe my tears. My body is weary and sore, from the games and the past few hours. The bed feels so comfy, and the pillows so soft. I hear Collin and Dath talking but the words don’t register in my mind before I doze off.