Chapter 3:
Gareth had been gone for almost a month now. Jake had told me several times now to forget him. If he wasn't dead then he wouldn't come back after such a long time. I didn't want to believe him, but I couldn't help to slowly losing hope of ever seeing him again.
I just wanted to know if I did something wrong. Why did he leave me and Jake? Why did he leave my parents? What was wrong with his life here in Edinburgh?
Tears formed in my eyes as I undressed by the lockers. I quickly changed into my bathing suit and grabbed my towel. I didn't want to talk to anyone. Not Alisa, not my coach, no one. I dived into the water as fast as I could. To avoid anyone talking to me I swam as fast as I could. Normally, I would get tired after a while, but somehow, I didn't. I kept going even though I heard my name being shouted several times. I didn't care who it was, because I didn't want to talk in that moment.
I had felt so lonely these weeks while not having him by my side. Not only did I cry at night because I didn't feel his presence beside me, or that he didn't answer his phone anymore. But I realized how much I've focused on Gareth and only Gareth since we became a couple. I don't really have any close friends except him, even though I talk to a lot of people in school. But there's no one I'm really close to, because I've been so in love with Gareth that I've forgotten about the rest of the world.
But all things come to an end and I eventually had to get out of the water and face the rest of the day. I took off my swimming glasses so that I could see clearly. There, on a bench sat Jake and Olivia. "Noelle, you must come home. Now", Jake said.
Thoughts started spinning around in my head. "Why?"
Olivia's eyes were red and puffy. "It's Gareth", she said in a weak voice. I slowly started to panic but I made my way to the changing rooms to get my things. The whole car ride home was completely silent. When my house was in sight I noticed that there was also an ambulance and a police car. My heart started beating rapidly of that sight.
I ran inside to find my mum crying and hugging dad, who looked like he also had been crying. "What is happening? Can someone explain to me what is happening?!", I yelled in pure frustration. What is going on? Why doesn't anyone tell me what is happening?
One of the policemen spoke up. I hadn't noticed his presence until now. "We found a body that had been flushed up on the beach. Your parents have confirmed that it belonged to Gareth Williams"
My mind went completely blank. I can't really remember what happened or what people said. All I remember was that they showed me the body, and let me tell you, after a month in the water, it was hard to tell that it really was him. But somehow I knew it was. I couldn't hear what anyone said. Everything was completely silent. Now I'm standing in the wet sand on the beach and looking out over the water. I can hear again. I hear the birds sing and I hear the waves of the water as they roll up on the beach. And I can't remember how I ended up here. But I'm glad I did.
There's no one here and I just find the sound of the waves calming. As my heart stops racing when I hear the sound of water, I walk towards the pier. All the way to the end of the pier my mind is blank. But after a while of standing out there I return to reality. Life isn't a damn fairytale. My boyfriend is dead. The love of my life, my shelter and best friend is gone. Gareth is gone for good. He won't come back, ever. I'll never meet him again. I'll never call him again when I feel down to hear that he loves me. I'll never hold his hand again. I'll never again have his arms around my body when I fall asleep. I'll never kiss him again. I will never meet Gareth ever again.
How could I face this world without Gareth by my side? I can't. How could I ever love someone again? I can't. How could I keep on living without Gareth? I can't. I can't live without Gareth.
I was so scared in that moment. The tears streamed down my face and I was sobbing violently. I was scared to end this life, but I was scared to see a world without Gareth. I walked to the very end of the pier and looked out over the edge. It was a good 10 meter's fall. If it wouldn't kill me, it would make me unconsious and there's no one here to save me. It would end my life, one way or another.
Suddenly, I wasn't scared anymore. The thought of diving into the water felt relaxing. It was just like diving in the swimming hall. I turned around, so that I was facing the pier and my back was facing the horizon. I closed my eyes and counted to three. I suddenly felt myself falling down. And there were no one who could save me in that moment.
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A/N:
Hey guys, I am soooo sorry for the long wait! As I've said Before, I'm really busy at the moment and not until today did I even start writing this chapter. I just started writing the whole chapter like 2 hours ago and here is the result! I hope you all enjoy it and I don't know when the next chapter will be out, sorry xx
~kiwibananaxx
