Chapter 19:
As she laid there, fast asleep in my arms I couldn't help thinking how beautiful she was. Her blonde hair was everywhere and her mouth slightly open as she breathed heavily. Was this how she would look if she had died that night? I tried to push away all those thoughts and just focus on her in this particular moment.
I couldn't understand that I actually made her choose between me and Gareth just hours after the two of us had been fighting in her flat. Of course I am happy that she chose me, but what if she just said that to make me stay? Maybe she can't decide but she said me just because I was the one asking. I need to ask her what happened with Gareth though. How could he just come back like nothing happened after three years? And what's even harder to understand is how he could just leave her like that in the first place?
I've really fallen for this girl. I'll just admit it. I know I had this crush on her, and that I thought a lot about her, but it was because I was worried. But the few times we've actually talked, after she decided that I was a good guy, I've noticed that I'm totally head over heels for this girl. I don't think that I have ever been this in love, and I barely know her. I never even felt this way for Sophia, although we were together for four years. Sophia. I had totally forgotten about her. We were together during my years at the school, and I realize now that I never told either Adelaide or Sam about it. They were always talking about how beautiful and talented she was, but me and Sophia were kind of a couple in secret, for some reason she didn't want people to know about us. Anyways, back to Noelle. How can I feel so much for this girl when I barely know her? It feels like I have known her forever, but it's probably just because I think about her all the time.
Her eyes fluttered open and she shrieked a little when she saw me. "Shh, it's alright love", I said and pulled her closer to me. She calmed down fast and buried her face in my chest. I had been sleeping in my t-shirt and underwear and she had her pyjama. I am totally honest when I say that I couldn't look at her without getting the butterflies. She really had that impact on me.
"How are you feeling?", I asked her. She looked up at me. "Better"
After laying there for a long while I kissed her on the forehead and walked out of the bedroom. I started making her breakfast and hoped it would make her feel even better.
She came out to me after getting dressed in sweatpants and an oversized sweater. She looked adorable. We small talked a bit before she recieved a text and started typing on the phone. We ate in silence, and I realized I just slept in the same bed as Noelle. The girl I saved from drowning, but also the girl that hated me for years. And I've only met her a few times after we officially became friends.
When we were finished I walked over to her side to take her plate. I glanced down at her phone to see Gareth's name on the screen. So she was texting with Gareth all this time while I was standing here, making her breakfast like a true gentleman?
I didn't know if should laugh or cry. I made her choose last night and she clearly couldn't keep herself away from him more than a few hours!
I gave her a death glare. "Really Noelle?", was all I said before storming off to her bedroom to put on my pants and then leave.
She followed me. "Guy, I can explain", she started before I interrupted her. "I slept besides you tonight, Noelle. I don't do that with everyone, ok?"
"Guy, let me explain", she breathed.
"You can't play with me, Noelle. It's unbelievable that you choose the man who made you want to kill yourself over the man who saved you"
I'll admit that maybe I shouldn't have said that. Because Noelle totally exploded. "You know what Guy? Fuck you! Sure, you were the one who dragged me up on the beach. But Will was there to, but you just give yourself all the cred for it! And yes, you made me survive, but you didn't save me. Alisa saved me! Becuase she showed me what life is about and that it's worth living. I don't remember you saving me in that way! So can you please stop acting like I owe my whole life to you?"
Great. She doesn't even want me there. I grabbed my stuff before heading to the door. I opened it, and turned around. "Maybe I should've let you die instead. That way, you wouldn't have all these problems"
I slammed the door shut behind me and walked outside to my car. The second I sat down in the vechile I immidietly regretted saying all those things. I sat in the car for a while before driving home. While there I started crying. I didn't mean those words, I hope she knew that. What if I make her want to die again? I quickly typed a text before it was too late.
To: Noelle
I didn't mean all of that. I'm sorry x
Seconds later I recieved an answer.
From: Noelle
You were right though
