No Way to Live -Mavin fanfic-

Chapter 3

I kept the necklace Michael had given me by the bedside table, so it just kinda haunted me. Michael didn't show up at work the next couple of days, and I had a couple of scary ideas why. Maybe he was avoiding me, or maybe he was getting himself into more trouble. Maybe a mixture of both. But the part that ate me up most inside was that I didn't hear from him at all. Usually I would get a text from him telling me if he was showing up or not that day, but I didn't get anything. Until one day when I checked my facebook for the first time in ages.

I saw he was online, so I clicked the chat button. I was surprised when I saw the text saying he was already typing. It soon disappeared, only to reappear again. Was he.. thinking of something to say? I watched him do this a couple of times, wondering what was so hard to say, until he finally said "heya we need to talk"

I quickly typed back, "haha ya.."

"Do you want to meet up at the park? skip work tomorrow"

"you've been skipping work a lot lately. but okay. how about 12?"

"sure see you then"

"we have a lot to talk about, huh?"

He logged off right before I clicked enter, and I regretted saying anything. Was I always like that? Did I always say just a bit too much? It didn't matter, I was going to get to see him. I was glad but nervous. For the first time in a very long time, I didn't want to have to speak to him, simply out of fear. But I knew I had to if I wanted to stay friends with him. I had to come up with some kind of an excuse as to why I kissed him. Maybe I could say I has been drinking before I picked him up? I also considered saying I had been taking hard-core drugs, because that felt like it would be easier to explain to him than my latest feelings. Heck, I couldn't even explain those to myself.

Over the last couple of days I had been thinking a lot about him and just about life in general. About what my feelings for him meant. I tried not to think about it too much, but I realized I had no idea who I was. I thought I knew for sure I was just a simple straight guy who loved making youtube videos and video games, but everything was so complicated now.

I started walking towards Michael when I saw him at the park the next day. "Hey Michael, where have you been?" I asked, not sure whether or not to lean in for a hug. I didn't.

"Heh. Just around. Sometimes I feel like I just need a break, ya know?"

"Ya, I get that feeling every day."

He chuckled and shook his head a bit as he looked at the ground. I realized I had been missing the sound of his laugh then, as well as the way he looked back up at me like I was an idiot.

It was a pretty nice day at the park even though it was a bit windy. We stood on a little path with grass and flowers growing all around it, and up ahead of us was an area with a fountain and benches. I ignored the awkward silence for a while, just looking at this scenery, but eventually it had just gone on for too long. I felt like he was thinking of a way to bring up a topic. A very certain topic, but I didn't say anything. I had already embarassed myself enough, so he had to be the one to bring up something awkward if he was going to do it.

"Hey, want to se something cool?" He finally asked, giving me a warm smile.

He lead me to a place on top of a rock. He said he liked to go up there alone when he had the time. It as quite nice, because you had a good view of the whole park and the trees were protecting us from the sun. We sat with our legs dangling off the side.

"So.. um. I don't... why.." He tried to say.

He rephrased his question. "Do you... ?"

"It was really hot out the day before," I started 'explaining'. "I had heat stroke and it's actually pretty hilarious when you think about it. I think we both over exaggerated about the whole-"