Everything

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by mgcmn1234

by mgcmn1234

*Disclaimer*: I know this is a particularly sad poem but it has its a catharsis. Also this is the final poem in my first collection of poems. My next volume will have fifty more poems. I'll publish each one with fifty poems.

Everything hurts because of you,
Because of everything you said,
You did.
Everything hurts especially the good times,
The soft shine in your eyes whenever you were passionate,
The way you said you loved me,
The night when we were laying and you said you just want me happy.
How could I be happy if all I was doing was chasing you,
Trying to get through to you.
You used words coated in flowers,
Told me anything I wanted to hear except for one thing,
The one thing you couldn't even tell yourself.
But I looked past that,
Hoping that I could help you,
And you could help me.
You held me when I cried,
Told me that you were always there for me.
You pulled me in when I was angry,
Making the emotion melt away like lava into the ocean.
You would talk for hours,
And I would listen,
You had so much to say and no one would hear,
Except for me.
Listening to you was the best part,
They way your skin heated up,
And the vibrations of your voice on your chest,
And I would lay and smile.
You made me feel as though I was one of the most important people to you,
I was wrong.
You said the same words to me to others,
You invited me over to watch a movie and tell me you love me,
When just hours before you were making a movie and telling a girl the exact same thing.
When we were alone you were the guy I loved,
When you were away you were the guy I feared,
When you were in public you were the guy who put on a fanatical facade.
I couldn't take the pain anymore,
The coin flip of what you wanted,
The confusion and the jealousy.
I ended it,
Maybe my greatest mistake;
To think that heartbreak would be better than unrequited love.
You take up your knife and grab my heart,
Carving your initials on it,
Without a twitch of emotion.
The pain is unbearable,
As if all the hurt balled up and knocked me out.
Is it coincidence that the devastation you once claimed to have felt,
Now comes upon me,
Like a demon with clipped wings.
It's not that you couldn't love me,
It's that you wouldn't love me.
You are able to walk away with your hands clean,
While I fall and hold my bleeding heart in my hands,
The blood overflowing,
Emotions poured out,
Everything sore.