POEMS for everything

Maybe this will help

I just don't understand,
I tried to give you everything,
To show you that I could treat you better than her.
And yet I lost.
I know I'm better than her,
I know I can treat you better than her,
I know that I can make you happier than her.
If this is all true,
Then why did you choose her?
Is it because it's harder to be with me?
It's harder to sort out your feelings when I'm with you?
Is it that at the end of the day,
It's all because she's a her and I'm a him?
I would give anything to see your green eyes light up again at me.
I would give anything to hear you call me beautiful again.
Even though you hurt me,
I still wanted you.
You knew what you were doing,
You knew it would hurt me in the end,
Yet that didn't stop you.
A part of me wants to hate you,
To look down on you as a coward who can't even be his true self.
A part of me wants to punch you and shake you and knock you out of this mindset you have.
A part of me wants to grab you and kiss you in front of everyone just to show you that it would all be okay.
But I can't do that,
Not because I don't want to or can't but because I see you breaking inside.
I will never know what you are going through,
The struggle you have going on in your mind,
But I tried to help you.
I tried to be there for you,
I gave you time,
I gave you support.
But you and I know that nothing comes without a price.
After everything I gave you,
I accidentally gave you a part of my heart,
I got too invested.
I thought you would be different,
I thought you would accept who you are.
Unfortunately that's not true,
So of course in the end I pay the price.
I take all of the consequences.
I have to carry her heartbreak that she was cheated on,
I have to carry your anger that you wish things were simpler,
I have to carry my broken heart because I ended up alone.
You became everything you said you wouldn't be.
So even though I can't hate you,
I can still wish the worst for your recklessness.
I hope when you lay at night next to her that you think of me.
I hope when she kisses you that her lips remind you of mine.
I hope when she takes you into her bed and you put yourself inside of her that you see me in your head.
I hope you slip up and say the wrong name,
And she looks you in the eyes knowing you weren't faithful.
I hope this torments you,
It won't make me feel better but then at least I would know that I'm not the only one hurting.