nobud koodint not deny that things war luke grim 4 sity englond. lolstrod shood nvr b king uv innyware let uhloan an sity. teh ottomatik ded uv everbud hoo let eyezbolz luke at levon thormps wuz teh leest uv politkall problimz bkuz lolstrod wuz think 2 pronk huz intyre kingdum! fers he war gatherding tp frum akross teh nayshun but rulize that babby pronk. he wuz nead hulp 2 plan ROIYAL PRONK UV KING™.
meenwal at baeker streit everthin wuz gut bak nurmbal. spaispet wuz slepp in hownd joonyer bed and him forgitind bredish langwidj so bark.
'u beddr kum 4 an wokking' sedding hownd baskerz 1 day so thay wint. thay r wokking all ovr sity englond and evun a littl 2 frants so gottin wet but thatz ok dawgz liek swumming. orn thare way bak them past st bartl hopitul.
'amz that u spais shurluk wholmz?' wuz sed an skokkd vois that kaimd frum abowt 5.5 feat up frum teh grond.
spais pet wuz bark sints him nut no wut. hownd wuz az sylent az an sno kuverd graiv on teh longist nite uv teh yeer (wich iz desembr 21th lolz) bkuz hiom nut interfear in ppl buzniss.
'yor haz braikind mine hart' wuz teh sed uv mally hoopr bkuz thats hoo wuz sed that. an her rand away with eyez tern in2 tiney spais vyolinz that play sad toon 4 a mint then gode bak regler 4 kry.
***
in sumwar els it wuz HYOOJ kunvenshun uv pronksterz but im kant teld u ware its a sekrut. king lolstrod wum thar drest up az minyun lolz so nobud no it am huz majisty.
'hay' him hyness askding 'duz anybud node inny good pranklz?
'i haffing teh greatet 1 evr, but it kost u BIG' sedded an guy with wite eyelushiz hoo wuz thar (wich iz raysist).
'tell me ut' sed lolstrod eegerly and allso '$$$ r no objikt'
***
'walp' wuz sed jon haymis wotsorn with nod uv hed 'im gess i troo canaidan, but i war haz deside 2 dutty 2 englobd innyway' and that war that bkuz uv stubbern in own dert flouwer.
'ok ' wuz parints hoo kant maik a fus unless maipul serup boyle in thar vanez . them also liek 'weer go hoam now' an dud ut.
teh nixt day it wuz a lowd noiz wakend all teh sleppings at beaker streat. 'JON' sed hiz shurlok 'I AM SHOORT TEH WALZ IF IM NUT GET KAIS!!!!!!!1' bkuz him addikt 2 mistry solf an allso nut kare abowt walz rites lolz.
rite then lukky saiv teh foan ringerd and wotswin anserd 'hallo? u haff an krime?'
'yap' sed pryme minster uv englond 'teh king war merdred lassed nite so git heer fassed' and hangd up.
it wuz opertoonty so shumlok and wolson skipt breffist and gitted kab 4 bukham pallis. 'weer praktikly liv thar' them both thotted at saim tiem but nobud node. jon wotship war reed artikle uv nooz frunt paij az wer drivving. hedline sedded: 'BAD NOOZ SRRY BUT NOO KING ARIDDY DEDDED' innyway teh kab wuz not likrish so thay gotted 2 pallis kwik.
'ok noobs' sedded grate detektuv 'teld me all teh faxts and i will solf it no problim'
'we alriddy node hoo dud it' sed teh pryme minster 'we jus kald u 4 uld tiemz saik'
'whart?' wuz holmz 'then hoo iz teh merdrer?'
'meriatty' an pryme minsty shode hiom evidents noat:
deer pleece uv skotlind yerd,
i haz dud an kryme. i haz assinait
teh king uv englond 4 revinjing
perpissuz. he wuz laim iinyway and
allso now i kan b roiyal rooler insted
so thats y i hav did ut in kais u nut
no, sukkuhz!!!!!!!!1
luv,
jim 'koolguy4evr' meriartry
aka yor noo king AGEN *eyerull*
ps after im jayul u shood maik this
guy naim kernilyus king he liv
at lolstrod uld flat so that war u fynd
him.
'taik me 2 teh bodie!' shurlok wholms sedded and jon wortsun nod and maik hiz fais liek "u bedder do ut, 2" so pryme minstrer aka PM taikd them 2 roiyal bedrume. lolstrod wuz thar and him stabed in hart and no puls so yep dedded.
'most kyerus y teh merdr wuz yooz an woodin nife ' wuz sedding shurluk wholmz and lukind all arond wit him magnuffy glass.
'allso gerlik wuz yooz' sedded a EPIK skotlund yard offiser hoo wuz thar 'and wholy wodder' him addid and sho everbud an spray boddle with a lable that writtend 'wholy wotter' on ut.
jon wotsdin wor kunfooz but allso gettid eyeteer 4 uld buddy now dide an pail az an sheat.
nixt thay r all gode 2 lolstrod uld flat 4 fynd karnilyus and fors him in2 b teh king uv englobd.
'hay, thar he iz!' wuz say jon wots and poynting 2 guy woching telly on cowch hoo luke jus liek meriart eggsept waring an shert wut sed 'o hai, my naim iz kornilyus' ont.
'walp, im gess him king now' sed pryme minster macter uv fackly and krown hiom then ant thar.
'WATE!' skreembl shorluk wholmz and tride 2 nok krown off but noap 2 lait he king 4 good and pemranint. 'U FULEZ! u haz jus kingd TEH MERDREREROR!'
'mertry?' wuz say PM 'norp, we lokld him up at skotlund yaird b4 u kaimd 2 pallis'
'no this kant b' wuz teh thonk uv shorluk wholmz in huz EPICK MINED 'im fers kunkloojun wuz loltrod had dud a pronk in us 2 fraimd hiz ryval mertiatry . . . but if teh merd wuz rilly yooz vampyr bussed gear and lolstrod nut alyve no mor 4ever . . . ' then him mined overlud and faynt. wen hiz mined faynt shorluk wuz liek an babby until it waikl up so jon wutsun taikd him hoam 4 naptiem.
saiyeth WUT???! iz loltrod vampyr-staikd insted uv pronking???! how iz mertrart eskaip frum skitlund yerd 2 woch telly at lolstrod flat??! wil spaispet remimbr engrish? kan shurlok mined unfaynt in tiem b4 diper nead chainj 😱 ???????!!!!!!! reid mor if u hav kyerus abowt it ..
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Shurelok Wholmes and Co: teh Heros uv teh Prophissy
Fanfiction(A parody story, meant to have the worst grammar, plot holes, and writing as possible. Basically, it's meant to be so bad it's good. Here's the summary.) When shurelok wholmes and jon wotsun ar sumuned 2 a pwnage site, shurelok theenks it waz hiz mo...
