C Minor // R5

Waiting

I have been sitting on Ryland's bed for the past hour and a half waiting for Ross to come home. I have been staring out the window and thinking. Thinking of my mistake. Thinking of what I could have done. Thinking of why I did that. Why did I brake my ankle? I hear a light knock on the door. And then the door creeks open but I don't know who it is. I just continue to stare out the window.

"Hey honey." I hear Stormie's warm voice say. I don't respond I know if I do I'll bust out in tears any moment now. "How are you doing?" I shrugged my shoulders. "Are the pain meds working?" I nodded yes. "The boys and Del will be home anytime now. Can I get you anything?" I shook my head no. "Oh sweetheart." Stormie comes over and sits next to me. "It's okay. You're a wonderful dancer. Dancers just have to deal with injuries that's all." I couldn't respond I didn't know how. She gave me a light squeeze and left, closing the door.

About ten minutes later I hear all the band, Mark and Ryland come in and talk about the rehearsal for the show. After they all talk for a while I hear Stormie talk quietly.

"Ross, Nina's in your room. She's really upset. You should go talk to her." I hear footsteps down the hall and then a quiet knock while everyone keeps talking. I don't say anything.

"Nina? Nins?" He opens the door. "Nina." He puts some stuff down and I see him sit on his bed out of the corner of my eye. "Come here." He says. But I didn't want to. I knew if I did anything right now, I would start to cry. So, I let out a shaky breath that I had been holding since this morning. "Nina." Ross said coming on Ryland's bed, sitting crisscross applesauce and pulling me onto his lap. That's the first time I've moved since I got on this bed an hour and a half ago. I lean my head on his chest and he puts his on my shoulder and wraps his arms around my waist. I close my eyes and he gives me a kiss on my cheek. "You were beautiful, I know it." No I wasn't.

"Why'd I do it? Why'd I break my ankle?" This is the first time I've talked since I got to his house. He turns me around, being careful of my ankle and takes my face in his hands, leaning our foreheads together. I feel my eyes burn and I close them so I don't cry.

"Nina, it wasn't your fault. We all make mistakes. Sometimes bad things happen to good people, but I like to think everything happens for a reason. You can't blame yourself. You'll audition again. Pointe is very hard. These things happen all the time."

I could've said so many things right now. I could've said that it was my fault and I didn't look beautiful. I could've said that I sucked and that I never wanted to dance again. I could've told him that I looked like a complete moron messing up chenes. But I didn't I just cried. Because you cry when you've been strong for too long. So I just cried. Ross put me on his lap and hugged me, because that's all I needed. I cried and cried and Ross stayed.

And the crying felt good.