NOVA.
He was the love that came without warning. But I've never been more certain about something ever before in my life. Feeling like home to me, invading himself in my bones, blood and heart. It'd take a lifetime to free him from myself. I knew he didn't love me but I adored him anyways. He thinks I don't care about him anymore but he's all I think about.
Blankly staring at the walls kissed by the sunlight coming from the blinds as I got lost in reminiscing. Feeling my face contort in pain before a whimper became sobs.
Feeling the eyes of him burning through me like stings of delicate rain, smiling into the night. 11:43 wind kissed on my body while he spoke softly into my ear,"Your eyes shine like the night sky." My body danced towards his, nibbling on my wet lips and squinting my eyes at the handsome figure in front of me. Glowing from the pale moonlight and outshining the galaxy. A smile that even brought the sun to its knees every night.
I cackled out a laugh,"Yeah..." With every fiber, molecule and cell in my body I wanted him to kiss me. Watching him closely as he came closer to me until my face was in his palm and our eyes melted into one another, and he looked at me like there was something in me worth looking at. Expecting either his lips to delicately touch mine or for him to comment on my physicality. Instead, he let me go.
Glancing over the moving city as nicotine filled my nose, adoringly glancing towards Jahani who sparked a cigarette between his lips before exhaling through his nose. On rare occasions he smoked cigarettes he told me about wanting to quit once,"I wish I knew you earlier." Pressing my back against the rusted, metal bar as he furrowed his eyebrows at my statement.
"You know me now." Scoffing out a laugh and grabbing the cigarette from his lips as I took it between my own. The last time I'd ever touched a cigarette was thirteen and I damn near coughed up my lung in the back of the school.
"But I don't know even remember how it was before you nor how we got here," I looked him dead in the eye while a slight grin curved at the corners of his lip. "Maybe that's what I needed." The tip of my pointer finger outlined his full lips.
"Maybe," His lips connected with my neck.
I finally found him.
If somebody would've told me I was living in a dream I would ask them to never wake me. That's what it was like with him. But with any dream you wake to reality. Which was something I was scared of facing. Emotion welled up inside of me as I felt like I'd been shattering. Breaking.
He rolled over towards me, his lips parted and eyes shut tight, brow furrowed. Never have I seen something so beautiful. He was gold. Smiling softly as the rain beat against the windowpane in a rhythmic matter.
"I can feel you staring at me," His raspy voice broke the silence causing me to slightly jump and pull the covers over me.
"No I wasn't." I attempted to fight my smile before his body moved beneath the covers as well. Even through the darkness the moonlight allowed me to take in the blurry figure of him.
"Sure you weren't." He sighed with amusement in his voice.
"It's not fair that you're so beautiful." I admired his features that ignited fires in me.
"It's not fair for you to be such a goddamn work of art." Smiling softly as I outstretched my hand to play with the ends of his hair and glance across his gleaming eyes. They always looked so sad even when pretty lies weren't flowing from his lips.
Boldly I leaned forward and took his lips beneath mine like a thief in the night. Grape swishers tingles against my lips and his tender hands cradled me like a child. Tugging his bottom lip between my lips, our tongues exchanging a swirl of lust. Feeling myself falling to pieces and not wanting to be put back together. The weight of his body rolled on top of me causing my breath to come out in a shattered moan. Moving into one another as tension dissolved between the minimal space of our lips.
I was so fixed on the idea of love.
The funny thing is my addiction isn't alcohol, or cocaine or cigarettes but it was something much worse. Him. I drowned myself in emptiness. Suppose he was successful in tearing me apart and he won. I would let him win every damn time.
